I had to make the 15 minute walk from the apartment to the warf with my suitcase, but it was mostly downhill so it wasn’t too bad.  I took the ferry and then a train.  It only took an hour and was way cheaper than a taxi.  At the airport, not one person checked my id, but cuticle cutters are dangerous and needed to be confiscated.  Wouldn’t want some unidentified person keeping their cuticles well maintained.

Cairns is pronounced Cans.  So, the I and R are silent.  This bothers me.  I don’t know why.

After I found my airbnb, I headed into town to find a tour company.  The first one I went into was very unhelpful.  I showed her pictures of what I wanted to do and she kept saying she could only book transport tickets, no tours.  I said I wanted a tour and she showed me something completely different.  I know there are tours for what I wanted to do because I had found them on line.  We went back and forth between no tours, yes we have tours, no tours.  I told her we were just not communicating so I was going to leave.  There are so many tour companies in Cairns.  There’s 2 to 8 on every block so I walked a half a block and picked Peter Pans.  They were so much more helpful.  They checked on what I wanted to do and found that the train wasn’t running for the next couple of days so I couldn’t do that.  They suggested a few other options.  They told me of a random field north of town where I can see more kangaroos than I care to see so I don’t need to pay to go to the wildlife park.  They recommended a tour called Uncle Brian’s.  It went to some waterfalls and was supposed to be full of silly fun.  Then we talked about New Zealand.  They have offices in New Zealand and they have three tours they recommend there.  I got the last spot on one of the 18 day tours.  Awesome – One stop shopping.  Now I have a lot less research to do.

Cairns is right on the ocean, on the Great Barrier Reef, but there is no beach in town and I’m told that the water is full of crocodiles and jelly fish.  So, the town built a giant public pool called the Lagoon.  It has sand beaches, a shallow kiddie area, changing rooms, snack bar, and a park next to it.  There is a boardwalk that goes along the shore too.  The boardwalk has grills, picnic tables, tennis, a skate park, volleyball, rock climbing, and exercise classes.  There were Christmas Carolers too.

After dinner I went to an ice cream shop called Nitrolato.  They make ice cream for you while you wait using liquid nitrogen to cool it.  It is supposed to be fresher and creamier.  They were all dressed in lab coats and it was fun to watch the fog come off my ice cream while they were making it.  It did seem creamier, but I’m not sure it’s worth the extra cost.

Uncle Brian’s tour was fun.  It was all young backpackers on my van and the other van.  My group was relatively unfriendly to me.  I guess it’s uncool to hang with the older lady.  The people on the other van were slightly more friendly.  When did 30 year olds become so young?  Our guide was phenomenal.  His energy was over the top all day long.  While in the van going from place to place, he was telling us stories, having us play games or having us sing and dance.  No second were we left unentertained.  If we drove by road workers or towns people, he’d honk and we’d all wave.  Everyone must be use to this, because they would have a huge grin on their faces and would wave back.  He told us he’d give us information along the way – some of it true and some of it not. We were welcome to call Bullshit anytime we thought it was false information.  We drove through a lot of sugarcane fields up into the mountains.  The wet season was about to start and this will be one of the wettest places in Australia soon.  Two towns always compete for the most rainfall each year.  The winner gets a golden gum boot (rubber rain boot) as a prize.  We stopped at the post office in Babinda to view the golden boot as it is proudly displayed there. We went through the forest to see the electrici trees (electrical towers) – everyone called Bullshit on that one.  Babinda is a tiny town.  It has a u turn area off the road where one is obviously not needed.  But, in good fun we toured Babinda’s u turn facility – round and round a few times.  The first waterfall was Babinda Rocks.  We walked to an overlook, then had tea and snacks and then swam in the river.  The next water fall had a rock you could slide down so there was much sliding.  Then lunch.  This should have been called Uncle Brian’s Eat and Swim Tour.  The next waterfall was Millaa Millaa falls which has been featured in some ad campaigns most notably an Herbal Essences Shampoo commercial.  So we all too turns practicing the water hair flip and trying to get a good photo.  The last stop was a crater lake with a snack.  It was a long day so when I got back I just went to the Holiday Inn across the street for dinner as I didn’t think I could find the energy to walk anywhere farther than across the street.  I stood at the hostess stand for a while.  Someone finally came up and asked if I needed something.  Really?  Why do you think I’m standing here?  I asked if I could eat and she seated me.  Again, three waiters zoomed back and forth around the restaurant and completely ignored me.  After 15 minutes, I got up to leave and someone finally asked me if I was ok.  No, I’m very hungry.  What is going on?  Is every restaurant like this or am I invisible or is it that unfathomable that someone might eat dinner alone so they assume (without asking) that I want to be ignored until my friend arrives?

The next day I slept in a little later.  I headed out for lunch.  The place I picked to eat was more because it was the first restaurant I found.  It was so hot that I thought I might have heat stroke if I didn’t get inside soon.  I spent some time in the Lagoon.  I stayed in until my core temperature finally came down and I felt comfortable.  The Lagoon is awesome.  I decided to get a foot massage. It was a tiny Thai lady who proceeded to beat me up.  She stood on my back and cracked it.  She stood on my arms, my legs, and my hands.  She beat my feet with some pointy thing.  About the time I was going to cry mercy and beg to leave she was done.  My feet did feel better after.  For dinner I picked a steak place.  I think you are supposed to eat steak while in Australia.  I waited forever, again.  I finally got up and asked the bartender how to get served.  He handed me a menu.  A menu doesn’t do much good if no one takes your order.  After 20+ minutes, I walked out.  There were more waitresses than customers, but no one would look at me so I couldn’t get anyone’s attention.  What do they think I’m sitting there for?  I told the bartender on the way out that no one would serve me.  He said, “Oh too bad” with no motivation to fix the problem.  There was a waitress out front handing out flyers, trying to get people to come in and eat.  I don’t understand.

Cairns reminds me of South Florida when I was growing up.  The buildings look the same, the hot, humid weather.

(c) All rights reserved Kimberly Fiore