Food Changes

A couple of nights after leaving the retreat center, I ordered the steak tacos I had been craving.  They were delicious.  They also kept me up all night as my body refused to digest them.  I only got a few hours of sleep and spent most of the rest of day miserable.  I have had steak a couple times since, including steak at a real nice restaurant where I knew the meat was good.  None of the other times I had steak were as bad as those tacos, but the red meat still made me feel horrible afterward.  So, I may very well be done with cow for good.  This is funny as I’m the girl that use to have steak 2 or 3 times a week in my 20s and 30s.

I decided not to give up dairy, especially cheese, but to only  have it once a week.  I thought having cheese day once a week would work.  There is a place near where I live that only has mac and cheese on the menu – 40 +/- different mac and cheese recipes.  So, my first week back I decided to get some mac and cheese  for lunch for cheese day.  This was one of the most interesting food experiments I’ve had.  I decided to eat half the mac and cheese and see how it went.  I ate all of the mac and cheese – I couldn’t stop.  Then an exhaustion hit me so hard I barely made it from my desk, through the living room to the bedroom before passing out.  In the minute it took me to get to the bedroom, I went from feeling pretty good to being completely depressed.  I slept for 4 hours and woke up feeling sad and groggy.  I’ve heard of the grain brain concept, but never read the book.  Now I don’t need to.  This is what pasta does.  I’ve had this happen another time with pizza and a milder version a few times with bread.  I also ate a pancake that ruined a whole Sunday.  I haven’t had an issue with just cheese.  So, I’m done with pasta, scared of pizza, and if I want to have bread, it better be real good bread in small amounts.

My first attempt at coffee, it tasted horrible.  Unfortunately, I gave it another try.  I should have just left it alone.  Now I’m addicted to it again, but I usually only have one a day.

Now I’m mostly vegetarian with meat only when it sounds good – once a week or so.  The sugar cravings still come and go, but after the pancake, it’s been easy to walk away from any sugar that crosses my path.  I still eat fruit so that’s some consolation.  I feel pretty good.

Water Water Water

I leave to go home tomorrow.  I’m going to spend the day with my friend Bonnie in Sedona before heading out.  I’m very excited to spend some time with her.  Overall, I am so ready to go home.  I’m ready to stop having conversations about cancer, healthcare and healing.  However, I’ve made some friends and am sad to say goodbye.

I have had so much energy the last couple days.  I feel good.  I’m happy.  I feel healthy.  It’s been easy to get up in the morning.  I want to do everything.  Before I came here, I was doing a lot of work to regulate my autonomic nervous system and to work on ptsd.  I wondered what fasting might do for the nervous system.  I had never read anything on that.  I’m thinking this is big.  I’m thinking there was a reset and a balancing of the nervous system.

My dreams haven’t been as intense.  I’m very hungry and feel like I can’t quite get enough food.  I’m not sure if that is just because I’m refueling or if it’s a bit of food addiction.  I really want to start snacking.  I miss popcorn.  I miss cheese.  I want tacos.  I’m still sniffly so my allergies aren’t gone, but they may be better.  I will re-test in a few months to see if diabetes is still not a problem – I feel very confident that will be the last I see of it.  It might be a couple of months before we have a better idea what happened to the fibroids too.  So, I’ll post about that when I know.

Yesterday we did some driving up Oak Creek Canyon and stopping at interesting spots on the way.  Today we decided to go back up and go to Slide Rock park since we didn’t have enough time yesterday.  It was a fun three days of playing in the water!

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

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Sedona

A couple days ago, I felt like I was getting a cold so the doctors mixed up an herbal tincture for me.  I feel a lot better.  I’m now on full meals here.  I probably could have gone home by now, but I extended my stay thinking I could do 18 days of fasting.  I didn’t fast that long, but now I’ve already paid to stay longer so I’m just taking it easy and hoping the good food continues to help me heal.

I’ve been having a little trouble with digestion, but not too much.  The bowels get a little irritated.  But, overall, I think it’s going well.  My appetite is definately back.  I feel like I could eat more often than the meals allow.  I’m very hungry and ready to eat when it’s meal time.  My eczema is back.  So, is my face soap or lotion doing it or is it something I’m eating?  The soap and lotion is what was recommended by a dermatologist, but I’m thinking that is the culprit.  I tried deodorant one day and had body odor by the end of the day.  I decided to go without for a few days and have had no body odor since.  Interesting…….

I’ve been working a few hours a day, resting, and reading.  I’ve been able to get out and do some very easy hikes also.  So, this blog is less about fasting and more about pretty pictures:

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

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Nothing Exciting to Report (Days 6 and 7 Refeeding)

Little by little, food is getting added back in to my system.  I seem to be tolerating it all well.  Yesterday they added potatoes and today I could have grains.  It was nice to have oatmeal for breakfast instead of a salad.  I think tomorrow I can start having salad dressing.  The salad dressings are made from scratch here so I’m not sure why that is the last thing to be added back in.

I went to the movies last night which was fun except the popcorn smelled so good and I’m sure that’s not a good idea.  So I tried to just enjoy the smell.  I did the labyrinth this morning.  I felt a little tired when I was done, but it wasn’t too much.  I might try some easy hikes after the holiday weekend.

Overall I’m feeling pretty good.  I’m quite bored and ready to go home, but since I extended my stay and it’s not refundable, I might as well stay and eat clean food for another week.  I’ve been working about 4 hours a day which helps with the boredom and the finances.  I spend the rest of the time reading, coloring or just sitting outside enjoying the nice weather.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

First Bath (Days 4 and 5 Re-feeding)

The past two nights I’ve still had trouble sleeping, but still wake up feeling ok.  Maybe I don’t need as much sleep as I think?  My blood tests came back pretty good.  A few things were low, but the doctor said she would expect that since I’m coming off the fast.

Yesterday I had salad for each meal – basically lettuce and fruit.  Not the most exciting meals, but my body tolerated them well.  I had a very gurgly stomach, but no issues other than that.  Today was the same food except they added steamed broccoli at lunch and steamed spinach at dinner.   Hunger is coming back.  I’m hungry before each meal.

I’m still feeling quite left out.  It feels kind of like high school all over again.  The cool kids are hanging together and I’m eating alone.  It bothered me less, but it’s still odd.  I cried for a half hour today just feeling so alone. That seemed to clear some of it.  This is so stupid.  It makes me want to go home though.  I think I’m getting a little stir crazy here.  Plus I now probably have the energy to start letting this stuff come up and work it’s way through.  I actually expected the whole fast to be more emotional than it has been.  I’m surprised.

Today I couldn’t concentrate so I decided to walk the 3 blocks to Walgreens just to be somewhere different and see how walking that far would feel.  It was sooooooo far.  I did ok, but was quite exhausted by the time I got back.  They had the singing bowls again yesterday.  I really do enjoy those.  Today was yoga – It was still very simple yoga, but it felt good to move a little.

The most exciting thing though is I got to take a bath in a bath tub with soap and shampoo.  No more wash cloth baths for me.  It was glorious.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

 

Celery Skin (Refeeding Day 3)

I got up early to go get blood tests.  I barely slept.  I tossed and turned all night.  The “No one likes me” crap in my head is here.  The past couple of days when I’m sitting outside having my juice, no one chooses to sit with me.  They pull chairs and tables together and sit somewhere else.  When I do pull up a chair and sit with the group, I get talked over, interrupted or ignored.  Not sure why this still bothers me or how to stop it once it starts bothering me.  I’m not even sure I want to talk sometimes – the constant sharing of stories is exhausting and most of the time it isn’t real connecting.  But still, society tells me this is the way we are supposed to connect and I’m doing it wrong.  I’ve worked on it so much, but it still shows up.  I know that I’m the source of the problem and that half of it I’m just making up in my head.  I want to go home.  I want to withdraw.  It’s coming up for a reason and now that I’m no longer water fasting, my nervous system is ready to work on these type of issues.  So, I’ll work on it some more – bring it on – that’s part of why I’m here.

The blood test place opened up late and it took over an hour and a half to get blood drawn.  They had the air conditioning on arctic so my fingers were blue and I was shivering when it was my turn.  The lady drawing blood had to try three times to get a vein.  Did my veins get smaller on the fast or was my blood turning to slushie?  When I got back I had my morning juice in my room with the heat on.

I swear my skin smells like celery.  I washed my underarms 3 times today and I still smell like celery.  It’s better than BO, but just so weird.  My eczema is gone and the skin on my face actually looks pretty good and healthy.  I gained some weight although I’m still two belt sizes down.

I worked a little, read a little, napped a little, netflixed a little and drank my juices.  Not the most exciting day.  The last juice of the day didn’t go down too well.  I went up stairs to lay down and just felt flu-ish.  My stomach is gurgling a lot too.  No pretty pictures today – just my poor beat up arm from the blood draw and a new hole on my belt.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

Tacos (Refeeding Day 2)

I felt much better this morning even though I didn’t sleep well.  I have quite a bit more energy, surprisingly more for only having had 8 cups of juice yesterday.  I didn’t get nauseous after each juice today.  No headache.  Hallelujah.

I colored for a bit.  I read for a bit.  A few people went out to shop.  I was able to go with them although I only went in two stores.  I spent more time just sitting in the shade people watching.  It is amazing how unfit and unhealthy most people look.  So many are limping because their hips are locked down.  So many are waddling or shuffling because they are carrying around too much weight or have a bad back.  So many people eating sweets and sodas and other crap.  It was a fashion show of unhealthy.  Of course, I’m the frail looking bag of bones moving slower than an 80 year old so I kind of fit right in.

The field trip might have been too much for me.  It was exhausting, but it was nice to have a change of scenery.  There was one restaurant that was grilling up meat for what I imagined to be very delicious tacos.  I contemplated going in there and ordering 17 tacos, but I think my friends would have either tackled me or joined me in the mad rush tearing the place apart for meat.  Either way it would have been a whole scene.  Plus one taco would probably send me to the hospital when my colon got to it and said hell no.  I don’t think you are supposed to go from 4 juices straight to 17 steak tacos.

I just rested the rest of the afternoon.  I will probably do one more day of juice and then start on raw veggies (no tacos).  I have to get up early tomorrow for blood work so I think I’ll look for a movie to watch and try to go to be early.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

Refeeding (New Day 1)

Last night was very uncomfortable again.  Not quite as bad as the night before, but almost.  I woke up nauseous and had a headache.  This is the first headache I’ve had, that I can remember.  I feel quite over it and am excited to start juice today.

At 9:00am I got a watermelon celery juice.  I don’t like celery so I won’t be recommending this tasty treat, but celery supposedly has tons of electrolytes.  It wasn’t so bad that I had trouble drinking it though.  You are supposed to take your time drinking it, sloshing it around in your mouth so it mixes with saliva.  I felt very good drinking it, but right after, I had to go lay down and nap.  I was nauseous again and the headache got worse.  Still it was different, it felt like my stomach was complaining about having to work again.  I had intestinal cramping too, not like something was wrong, but like you could feel the intestinal muscles trying to wake up and work when they haven’t for two weeks.  I felt bad after each juice, but I just laid in bed and it went away quickly.  Then I would get hungry with a rumbly stomach, usually about a half hour before my next juice.  I had 4 juices today – two watermelon celery and two apple celery.

I didn’t actually nap, but I did lay down or drink juice most of the day.  I tried to color, but that was too much.  Reading was too much.  I was able to talk on the phone for a while with Katie so that was a real nice break from just laying there.  I watched a movie which ended up being too much.

I found out that one couple has to leave early because they overbooked the Inn.  This makes me sad.  How do you overbook?  I don’t quite know the details of it, but they have been so positive and wonderful to have around.  It’s a full house now.  There are 10+ wellness guests here now.  I feel like I’ve been holed up in my room longer than a week.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

Blah (Day 14)

Last night was the worst so far.   I felt hungry.  My stomach hurt and I felt like I might throw up.  I got restless leg.  No position I got in was comfortable.  Nothing I did would ease the upset stomach.  I laid in bed for hours whimpering until I finally fell asleep.

This morning I felt better, but not great.  The eczema on my face is almost gone.  Nausea is not going away.  I dropped another pound.  I had a few dizzy spells which are kind of scary.

My activities were tiny even though each one took monumental effort to do.  I sat in the sun until I got dizzy.  I looked for the King Snake, but didn’t see him.  I tried to nap.  There was about 6 hours of saw cutting today – they must have quit early because it’s Friday – ah, there’s hope for the weekend.  I went on an ice mission.  I wanted to re-watch the Despicable Me movies, but Netflix only has Despicable Me 3, not the first two.  What is wrong with Netflix?  I’m thinking of canceling Netflix.  I had a session with my awakening teacher.  That was very helpful.  Mostly I laid around and thought about doing stuff, but decided it was all too much.

As I started to feel worse in the evening again, I decided I was done.  I’m calling it.  Tomorrow I will start back on juice.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

Day 13

I woke up too early because all my neighbors walk like elephants and then bang things and slam doors.  I opened the windows to the fresh morning sounds of jack-hammering.  Soon they quit that and moved on to saw cutting things.  It’s way less annoying than jack-hammering.  But it was still 8 hours of cutting.

I had two decent dizzy spells where I thought I might fall over or black out.  I need to really take my time standing up.  Everything I do leaves me very winded.  My weight went up today.  huh.  Nausea is now my almost constant companion.  I don’t think I’m going to make it for 18 days.  I’m not even sure I will make it through tomorrow.  The eczema on my face has almost cleared up.

I napped – kinda – in the middle of the day.  I remember as I laid there trying to sleep that my skin smell had changed again.  It was kind of like cinnamon.  When I got up from the nap it didn’t have a smell at all.  Can you dream smells?

I did a skype call with Pam.  Again, so great and helpful to connect with those I love.

I went downstairs for art therapy which was coloring.  It was nice for a bit, but an hour was more than enough time sitting upright.

Then there was some random crying throughout the day.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore