Category: Uncategorized

Final Snow

On By rrainefioreIn Beautiful Colorado, UncategorizedLeave a comment

What a day.  This was my last day snowboarding.  It wasn’t as awesome as I had hoped.  I went by myself, traffic was horrible, whine, complain.  Then the last run, I decided to take a tree run off a green that no one had taken.  Somewhere in the back of my head I could hear the voice of past mistakes saying “No! Bad idea!”.  But, how bad could it be?  What?  They’d pull my pass on my last day?  It was steep.  It was untracked.  It was wonderful.  It funneled into a deep hole with almost vertical sides and no logical way out.  Crap.  I decided to try to get out by going back the way I had come just before going into the deep hole forever.  It took a half hour of post holing up a near vertical slope with snow up to my mid thigh.  Thank god for the snowboard instead of skis.  I could use it to put my weight on so I wouldn’t sink as far and carve away some snow so I wouldn’t sink as far.  It took a half hour to get back to the green trail I so badly wanted off of earlier.  It was more cardio than I’ve seen in the past couple months combined.  I was delighted to take that green run all the way to the bottom and back to my car.  Did I learn my lesson?  Probably not.  I’m sure the lure of fresh untracked powder will call to me again and I’ll follow, but not for a while as there is no snow awaiting me in Thailand.  This picture isn’t from that run, but from the run before it that wasn’t quite as awesome or as terrible.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

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On By rrainefioreIn Moving Prep, UncategorizedLeave a comment

It took all day, but everything but the furniture is moved out of the house and it’s all clean and ready for the new person to move in.  I thought I’d cry all day as I said goodbye to my house, but I didn’t.  I got back to Jay and Deana’s and they asked if I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, but I didn’t.  I just feel blah.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

Grilled Cheese Blizzard

On By rrainefioreIn Beautiful Colorado, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I moved in with Jay and Deana until I leave for Thailand.  The house is rented and I wanted to move out as soon as possible so I’m not putting the final packing and cleaning off until the last minute.  I was going to do the final cleaning on Sunday, but I slept for 18 hours instead.  I went up to the house yesterday and did about half of it, but I also needed to help out at work too so I didn’t get all the house stuff done.  So, I got up early this morning to finish it up.  I awoke to a blizzard.  It took me over an hour to go to the post office and back.  By the time I got back, I decided that driving up to my house sounded too exhausting.  I would just work here and deal with it tomorrow.  Around lunch time, Deana suggested we have grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.  Apparently I kept forgetting I had soup and then would buy more soup so I when I moved in here it was me and a lot of tomato soup.  The idea for grilled cheese and soup was so perfect that no other lunch was going to work.  But, there was no cheese.  As much as I didn’t want to go fight the bad roads to get cheese, I was coming to conclusion in my head that it was going to have to be done.  Just as I was coming to this conclusion, Jay demanded that I move the truck out of the driveway so he could take the motorcycle out.  Huh?  We got at least a foot of snow and it’s still snowing.  Did he say motorcycle?  Yes, yes he did.  He explained that it’s so fun in the snow and asked if I wanted to go too.  Then I remembered he has a motorcycle with a sidecar. Ah, yea, I want to go.

It was so much fun doing donuts in the middle of the road and riding through the snow to the store.  And then we had grilled cheese and soup and it was perfect.  The End.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

Fantastic

On By rrainefioreIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

12310008_10153301610161094_6910257995001238676_o20151212_234140_resizedWhoa, What a roller coaster of a night.  Every year the Fantastic Hosts put on a holiday party that is the best party of the year.  Every year I hope that I will have a date to bring.  Every year, I’m dressing up and going solo.   This year I decided to take a date, a guy I’ve known for years.  We’ve dated a couple times, but it never worked out because he would stand me up or say he’d do something and then flake or just stop calling altogether.  However, whenever he does show up, he is delightful.  He’s so much fun and is really present with me in person.   I told him this party was a big deal for me.  He spent weeks not giving me a straight yes or no.  Then finally he confirmed and for some odd reason, I thought he might actually do what he said he would.  But, around 8:00 pm I find out that he’s still working and needs to work again first thing in the morning and therefore is going to the party.  He tried to call it off by text instead picking up the phone to call me.  Eventually we did talk on the phone.  I tried to be understanding.  I wouldn’t want to be working on a Saturday night only to have to go work again the next morning either.  At the end of it all, though, I just felt unimportant and disappointed.

So, I head off to the party with some friends and no date.  We get to party hours later than I had hoped.  I’m trying real hard to have a good time, but can’t quite shake the disappointment.  I decide to skip being sober for the night.  Just about the time I’m beginning to not care that my date, who has a history of disappearing, didn’t show and I was stupid enough to be the one to invite him, the party is over.  Well, at least there was an after party to go to because I was in no shape to be driving.  Plus, a lot of my friends will be there and it will be nice to spend some time with them.

At some point in the evening, I was propositioned by 3 different guy friends.  Where the hell have you guys been in the past few months, or past few years?  Why now?  I go to every event single and no one hits on me.  My actual date for the evening doesn’t want me, but everyone else does.  Is it because I’m leaving the country.  I didn’t suddenly become prettier or funnier or smarter.  It makes my head spin.

So, as you are reading this, you may be thinking that’s a crappy night (or you may be thinking, stop whining).  But wait – this is where it gets crappy.  It’s the wee hours of the night and I’m having trouble putting words together.  I can barely stand.  Then my heart is racing so fast I’m afraid I’ll have a heart attack.  All my muscles start to spasm.  Then the hallucinations start – fractals and swirling colors.  It was quite scary. However, a part of me was still aware and I could see that people were noticing, watching me and making sure I was ok.   I felt terrified and well taken care of all at the same time.

One of my friends, Tim, sat with me for hours and held me and poured love my way.  Waves of crying came, most of it was terror.  I’ve been locking down on the terror I feel over shutting down my life here to move away from everything that is familiar and comfortable.  With each wave I felt my heart relax a tiny bit.  As the sky became lighter outside, I started to feel like I was going to make it.  I was still quite messed up, but able to have a conversation.  What a strange way to bond and get to know someone better, but I’m grateful for this beautiful man who stuck it out with me until mid morning.

I slept for a few hours.  I’ve been up for about an hour now and huge shivers and chills are running through my body.  Even thought I’m so much better, it’s not over.  The alarm on my phone goes off to tell me I need to take the next Typhoid Fever pill.  I’m half way through the week long course of the vaccination.  Holy Shit! I have been trying to figure out what went so wrong.  Is this why?  Did the Typhoid Fever vaccination have a bad reaction with other things?  Stress + pent up fear + typhoid + alcohol + what ever I ate + my date canceling + etc = scary trip.   Scary night + wonderful people = bonding + gratitude.  So, maybe it was a fantastic night after all.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

On By rrainefioreIn Moving Prep, UncategorizedLeave a comment

The gps tracker is now installed in the car and pick up is scheduled for Tuesday.  A different scheduler called me to set it up.  I wonder if the demanding woman quit after dealing with me on Friday.  After we verified that the gps tracker worked, I took it back out – just in case.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

Car Mafia

On By rrainefioreIn Moving Prep, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Car Match found a driver for my car.  It’s basically a lease to own situation.  I got all the paperwork last night, but some of it was wrong.  The revised paperwork was in my email this morning.  But before I could even check my email, I got a call from a demanding woman with a heavy accent.  She was wanting to pick up my car today.  Whoa, what a painful way to start my morning.  I told her that the paperwork wasn’t done and the gps tracker wasn’t in the car yet.  She was angry.  I have to install a gps tracker in the car and they were supposed to overnight it to me.  I couldn’t stay at home because there were showings all day.  So, I’m sitting at a coffee shop and having trouble connecting to the internet.  I called my friend, Ed, who told me I could borrow a company truck.  He said to just go in the office and tell the receptionist I was the one he had told her about.  I called her and she said she thought I was no longer borrowing one and she couldn’t give me one until she talked to Ed.  Neither one of us could get a hold of him.  Hours later, I finally get the car paperwork signed.  The demanding woman called me again to pick up the car – now.  I told her I couldn’t give it up until I had the gps tracker.  Then I got to go to a meeting that took me an hours and a half to get to, but the meeting only lasted 5 minutes.  By now I’m overwhelmed, frustrated and just tired.  Car Match called me to tell me the gps tracker is at my house.  It’s too late in the day to go home and get it.  The snow is starting to fall, it’s rush hour and Katie and Travis are throwing a going away party for me shortly.  The guy at Car Match was quite unhappy that I wasn’t going to go home and get it.  The demanding woman calls again stating she has to pick the car up today.  I wasn’t very nice this time.  I tried to reschedule for Saturday or Monday, but she said no and hung up on me.  Now I’m sure I’m dealing with the mafia and they are going to come drag me out of my car and cut off a finger to remind me not to mess with them.  Then they are going to leave me on the side of the highway in the snow with 5 bags of stuff from my car.  Because, you know, the mafia lets you keep your personal belongings after they cut off body parts.  Then I left ridiculous voice mails for the Car Match guys and went and crawled in Katie’s bed and cried until they came home.  It took a long time to let it go, but the frustration passed.  Having a party with friends helped.  Plus, I didn’t put the gps tracker in yet, so the mafia doesn’t know where I am…….

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

On By rrainefioreIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I went to the dentist today.  I might have a cracked tooth.  The dentist said it was probably a hair line crack.  He thought he could see it, but it didn’t show up on an xray.  Apparently there is nothing that can be done until it gets worse.  Huh?  Who knew?  This is new to me.  I don’t remember ever having a bad dentist experience and I don’t feel anxious about going, but the whole time they are working in my mouth, my entire body is tense – especially clenched fists.  I’d notice it and tell myself to relax and then a minute later it’s back.  The bill hurts far more than anything they physically do.  I’ve had two knee surgeries and sinus surgery without being able to take pain meds after.  Why does a dental cleaning make my body act like it’s terrified?  Is it the collective fear that most people have of the dentist?  Did something bad happen that I don’t remember?

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

 

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