Day 3 – Almost out of the tough part

I didn’t sleep well.  I kept waking up.  It seemed like people were coming and going so early in the morning.  But I didn’t have the intense weird sleep either.  I still woke up feeling good despite the lack of sleep.

I watched a couple of educational films today.  One was on fasting.  The other was on salt, sugar and oil and why eating them in large amounts is bad.  I tried doing my breathing exercises, but they made me dizzy.  I had a skype call with one of my classmates.  We  have been meeting once a week and it’s very grounding to talk with her.  There was restorative yoga in the afternoon.  Restorative yoga for someone on a fast meant doing mostly stretching while lying on the mat.  Next time, she recommended I try chair yoga.

I went out the labyrinth, but based on how difficult it was to walk last time, I just took my shoes off and stood in the sand until the sun chased me back to shady areas.  The weather here has been delightful – not too hot in the shade and a nice warm breeze.  I’m so use to breezes being very cold and uncomfortable.  I’ve left my windows open the whole time.  How do I work it out to live here in the spring and fall and in Colorado in the summer and winter?  Part of what I’m hoping becomes clear while I’m here is what the heck am I doing next.  Am I moving to Europe, buying a house in Colorado, staying an engineer or becoming an artist or an awakening coach?  Decisions can be so tough sometimes.

I had intermittent nausea and headaches today, but less than yesterday.  The hunger is almost gone.  I think I only had 2 or 3 hunger “attacks” today.  But remember, I can’t count to 3, so who knows.  My lips are chapped, my feet are dried and crackly, but I can’t put on lotion.  The doctor recommended coconut oil or olive oil, but there’s no way for me to go out and get that.  I lost 1 pound my first day here and 2 pounds yesterday.  This is going in a silly direction.  But, I was told that weight loss tapers off too – that was mostly water weight.  I had a “bath” today.  Basically a wash cloth bath, but it was still delightful.  I wonder how it will go without deodorant.  I also was able to brush my teeth without toothpaste, just water.  But, since I’m not able to do anything that would make me sweat and I’m not eating, I feel quite clean.

Tomorrow I should go into keytosis which is where the body stops looking for carbohydrates as fuel and starts burning fat as fuel.  This is why most people feel better on day 4.  When I talked to the doctor about the tingly muscles last night where they felt like stuff was coming out of them, he said that was probably the fat in the muscles starting to metabolize.   On day 3 or 4 people get energy back, the headaches and stomach problems go away.  They feel like they could conquer the world.  I’m pretty sure conquering the world is not allowed while fasting though.  I’ll have to conquer the world another time.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

Day 2

No one warned me that day 2 would be the hardest, but it still wasn’t as hard as I had expected.

I slept hard with really intense dreams.  It was like my nap the previous day where I was aware I was dreaming and I just couldn’t move.  But unlike the nap, there was no deep dark hole of no return.  I was kind of numb for an hour after getting up, but I woke up joyful and excited to see what the day had in store.  I never wake up joyful.  I felt good, rested and only a little hungry.

I have been getting cold lately just before bed, but last night I wasn’t cold.  The morning was good.  I did get cold in the middle of the day so I went to my room and put on fuzzy socks and crawled into bed.  That helped.

In the afternoon I got a headache and an upset stomach with a lot of burping.  I got hungrier and my stomach hurt.  The doctor gave me bubbly water for the upset stomach.  I love bubbly water anyway so this was a double treat and it helped.  I got a white patchy tongue which they said will go away if I drink more water.  Based on my vitals, the doctor said I was detoxing and that my liver was working extra hard today.  He asked how many glasses of water I had today and I couldn’t remember if it was two or three.  I have now lost the ability to count to three.  The glass they gave me to measure how much water I’m drinking is so large that I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold it in a couple days.  I got a smaller glass.  The symptoms are usually the worst on day 2 and 3 and should get better by day 4.

I went to a sound healing class in the afternoon.  I was the only one there.  The teacher and I ended up talking most of the session and he was very grounded and able to really connect with me.  It was wonderful.  Then he did a few minutes of sound healing with an Indian flute and then a didgeridoo.   It was wonderful.  My nausea was gone and my headache was gone.  Both were back 10 minutes later.

My head feels fat and full.  Sometimes it feels light and devoid of energy.  Right before going to bed, I  noticed that my leg muscles and the muscles around the collar bones felt tingly.  It felt like stuff is moving out of them or evaporating.

Time for bed and intense weird dreams!

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

First Day of Fasting

A few things I noticed since I changed my diet the past couple of weeks.  I could only eat fruit and veggies, some grains and beans – nothing that came from an animal, no caffeine, no sugar, no bread.  I noticed that my eczema came back, my sniffy nose allergies were worse, and I was getting very cold in the evenings.  I remember going to bed freezing, pulling the covers up over my head and still freezing.  Then I’d warm up later.  I feel like I’ve been dreaming way more and that they were far more vivid and intense.  Perhaps these are all signs of detox?

The first day of fasting went well.  I felt ok in the morning although, I didn’t sleep as long as I would have wanted to.  I went to walk the labyrinth instead of breakfast.  I got all the way in and half way  back out and then I felt kind of light headed – not like I would pass out or lose my balance, but I took it as a sign that I had done enough exercise for a while.

They have activities through the day.  I attended a meditation/mindfulness one which was nice.  The other one was called Energy 101 – it was too basic for me, but it was still a nice thing to talk about for an hour.  There was a movie, but I came down for it an no one was there so I went back to my room.  There was live music during dinner (not everyone here is fasting).  I missed it due to a nap. The other wellness guests here are nice and I’ve spent some time talking with them.  There’s 3 others than me right now.  There are lodge guests too that are just vacationing in Sedona – I see them coming and going, but that’s it.

I’m hungry, but not uncomfortable.  Do you know how you feel sometimes when you waited too long to go to lunch and you are very hungry, but you know you can do this one other thing and then go?  It feels kind of like that.  I did notice looking at the time, realizing it was 11:45 and thinking “oh, I have to go eat”.  I got hungrier just from that small trigger.  Drinking water helps a little.

I felt quite peaceful most of the day, very excited that I’m doing this and often joyful.  I noticed something interesting when I felt joyful – I could feel it mostly in my face, behind the cheek bones, eyes, sinuses and temples as if there was electricity there.  It feels like nerves firing – maybe part of the polyvagal system?

The doctor’s intake exam was more thorough than a regular doctor’s exam.  I feel like I’m in good hands.  The doctors or nurses come find you twice a day and check on you.  In the morning I have to take my temperature, blood pressure, pulse and weight so they can track how you are doing.  I also have to track bowel movements (they will stop at some point), water intake and in general, how I’m feeling.

I took a nap in the afternoon.  I’ll call it adventure napping.  It was terrifying.  I closed my eyes and felt my whole body go numb.  I tried to move and couldn’t.  It felt like I was going into a deep dark hole that I would never be able to wake from.  I kept telling myself not to go to sleep, don’t close your eyes, don’t go into the dark, but I couldn’t move, couldn’t open my eyelids.  I did start dreaming at some point and they were very detailed and intense and I was quite aware I was dreaming.  I did wake up.  The deep dark hole didn’t swallow me forever.  My body was numb and I felt heavy for a least an hour after.  It was intense and weird.  I assume my body is detoxing further, including thoughts and deep dark holes.  The journey has started.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

The Last Supper

A lot  more driving today.  It should have been 6 hours, but somehow it took 7.  There were a lot of trains.  For many hours, that was the only interesting thing.  Of course, Flagstaff and Oak Creek Canyon were the highlight of the drive.

The retreat center is beautiful and I felt welcomed right away.  My room is very nice, which is good, because I think I will spend a lot of time in it.  I spoke with one of the doctors also and I start the fast tomorrow.  I ate dinner at the retreat center – last meal for awhile.  They brought me a giant jug of water for my room.  I also took the last shower and brushed my teeth for the last time.  There is no bathing (except a wet wash cloth) and no toothpaste while fasting.  This shall be interesting.  I’m feeling pretty good and I’m very happy with my choice to come here.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

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Here We Go

I left the house at 6:30am for the first leg of the journey.  It was pouring rain and randomly snowing at the same time.  The roads were flooded and you could barely see the car in front of you.  I got to hit rush hour traffic in Denver and Colorado Springs.  Or maybe it isn’t rush hour, it seems to always be crowded in Colorado lately.  Even though the drive had  a slow start, I still made good time and made it to Santa Fe in 6 hours.  Wow – New Mexico is windy.  I’m still amazed my car didn’t blow off the road.

I have friends that just moved to Santa Fe so it was great to spend some time with them.  Had some food, some good conversation and a short visit to Meow Wolf.

Second to last day of food.  I’m rather tired of eating and going out is difficult because there’s so much I cannot eat.  I think that’s part of the plan, you are so disenchanted with eating that you are ready to fast.  The headaches have stopped.  The irritability is better.  The allergies are a bit better.  So, I think the food withdrawals are almost over.  I still dream of grilled cheese sandwiches though.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

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Food Withdrawals

So, I quit eating (drinking) caffeine and any food made from an animal a week and a half ago.  They want you to go through food withdrawals before doing the fast so fasting goes smoothly.  So, I can only eat veggies, fruit, beans, and grains such as oatmeal or quinoa.  I’ve been having headaches almost every day.  I eat and 10 minutes later, I don’t feel full.  Nothing tastes good.  I’m tired of eating.  I’m distracted and can’t concentrate.  I feel uncomfortably restless most of the day.  My allergies have kicked in so strongly.

I knew that caffeine withdrawals could cause headaches, but I wondered if there is such a thing as cheese, milk or meat withdrawals.  So I looked up caffeine withdrawal symptoms on line.  They can include headaches, sleepiness, irritability, lethargy constipation, depression, muscle pain, lack of concentration, flu like symptoms, insomnia, nausea, vomiting, anxiety, brain fog, dizziness, and heart rhythm abnormalities.  This could explain a lot of what I’m feeling.  I had no idea that it could cause flu like symptoms.  This could explain the allergies.

Then I looked up cheese withdrawal next – fascinating.  Cheese contains casein which when digested turns into casomorphins which has an opioid-like affect on us.  Add fat to that and no wonder cheese is so good.  No wonder I’m feeling crappy – I just quit morphine cold turkey.  Here is one of the articles I found interesting:

https://yumuniverse.com/addiction-to-cheese-is-real-thanks-to-casomorphins/

Whether it’s the caffeine or cheese withdrawal doesn’t really matter.  I’m glad I’m doing it now and not while doing the fast.  I leave in a couple days to drive down to Sedona for the the fast.  I’m still excited to see what happens.  I’m off to go dream about grilled cheese sandwiches now.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore