More touristy stuff today. We drove to see the Elephant Cave Temple. There are no elephants there, but the entrance to the cave is supposed to look like and elephant. Some pool time in the afternoon. It’s so hot here. I’m really not sure how people live here. I’m not sure how I’m going to survive the summer in Thailand. I don’t understand why people love the heat. Maybe I need to move.
We did get to the dance show tonight. It was interesting. I love the music (small example video attached). There are several types of traditional Balinese Dance. The one we went to see was Legong. I got some pictures and video of the dancing, but they came out awful. The most fascinating part for me was how eye movements are part of the dance. It’s creepy, but you can’t look away. As with Thai dancing, the program tells you the story of the dance, but there’s no way you can tell that is the story. The hands and feet are highly involved in the dance, like Thai. The facial expressions and eye movements are quite unique to Balinese dancing though. I found this video on you tube that is much better than mine. It was taken at the same place so just pretend I took it.
Today we went to the Monkey Forest. It was a park you had to pay to get in, but it had some temples and lots of monkeys. Then in the afternoon we went to Jungle Fish. This was a little outside of where we were staying so I had to drive the POS. It was a resort in the jungle with a wonderful pool and restaurant. You have to pay 150,000 rupiah ($12) in food and drink and you get to hang out at the pool as long as you want. Deal. This evening we got massages and facials. The people working at the spa were wonderful. They kept trying to fix me up with one of the guys at the spa. They were laughing and joking with each other. It’s so delightful to see people loving each other’s company and the work they do. I have found most Bali people to be genuine and when they smile it’s real. In Thailand, the smile is not always real. This is a nice change in that respect. We were going to see a traditional dance show, but got there too late.
I finally found out when I have to be back at school. I have two more weeks instead of one. I decided to extend my stay in Bali by four days instead of sitting on a beach in Thailand or trying to go to another country. Then I’m going to go to Singapore for a few days and back to Thailand. I’ll probably go back to Chaing Mai in Thailand since it’s easy to get to by plane and fairly easy to get to Sam Ngao from there. A 8-12 hour bus ride from Bangkok again sounds horrible.
Today I took the morning off to do some engineering work. I am grateful that I have some work I can do because I am spending quite a bit of money I don’t have. I really need to work more than a half day, but that’s all I had for now. I went to a place that was part coffee shop, co-work space, part restaurant and had a pool. This is a brilliant concept to me. I didn’t go in the pool. By the time it got hot enough to not be able to stand it, I was done with the chunk of work I had. So, I decided to go back to my hotel pool. I did the pool then a massage and back to the pool.
My half sister, Carly arrive around dinner time. I’ve never been traveling with her so this should be fun. I was adopted and didn’t meet her until I was 34. We’ve hung out a few times in Denver, but not a lot. We went to dinner. The place we went was beautiful. It was huge and had little dining bungalows all spread out amongst gardens. If this place was in the US, it would be a real expensive dinner place. It was only slightly more expensive than any other place I’ve seen in Bali. We went to an open mike night at a nearby bar to meet up with my friend, but it was so crowded that we couldn’t get a seat at the same table she was at. We went upstairs instead. This is where I fell in love. I fell in love with the lamps they had hanging from the ceiling and over the bar. Sorry, not the “in love” you were all hoping for. They were made of fabric, metal and beads. The light shown through the beads on the top. Then strings of black with beads on them hung down below the lamp. It looked as if the beads were tiny stars of lights floating below the lamps. I took a picture. It’s not great, but you’ll get the idea.
How do I become a lighting designer? I think I would love that.
I stayed out too late last night. The alarm was hard to take this morning. But, I managed to get up and get breakfast. I had signed up for a silver smithing class. I’ve done a couple of college level courses in metal smithing and the guide book talked about Bali jewelry as if it is unique to this part of the world. I thought it would be fun to learn some new skills and who doesn’t want some new jewelry? The class wasn’t that great. They barely let me do any of the work and the “teacher” kept trying to redesign my work. The examples of types of things we could make didn’t look unique. I’ve seen similar jewelry everywhere. I decided to do a wire work piece since I never did wire work in other classes. The class cost around $30 which is not a bad deal for a new ring and necklace even if I didn’t learn a life changing new skill.
I went to lunch after the class. One of the things I like about Ubud is you can get a salad! There are a lot of healthy restaurants here. Ubud is like a bunch of people from Boulder created a town in Bali. There are yoga places, vegetarian restaurants and art shops. There are more guesthouses than tourists even though it’s a town of tourists and expats. Most of the restaurants have communal tables that are low to the ground and you sit on cushions around them. I love these. I sat at one of those and met a couple expats that are just hanging out in Ubud. How do people afford to just move to another country for a year or two without having to work? Obviously, I’m doing it wrong. Then it started to rain. I didn’t have my computer or book so I didn’t want to hang out and wait for the rain to stop. I debated how long to wait and gave up and just started walking in the downpour. At some point, a nice man gave me his extra umbrella. I saw a spa and gave him his umbrella back and ducked in for a foot massage. Massages here are almost as cheap as in Thailand, but not quite as good. This was a pretty good massage and a great way to wait out the rain.
My hotel here is awesome. It has two pools, beautiful gardens and the people are nice. After a little pool time, my friend picked me up and we went to an ashram a little outside of town for a yoga class that a friend of hers recommended. I haven’t done yoga in years. One cool thing that happened is when we were sitting the instructor had us lean forward and hold our toes. My initial thought was, I can’t reach my toes. My hamstrings are always to tight and after not working out for over 7 months, there’s no way. I could reach my toes. I have this feeling that losing so much muscle weight lately is actually like a reset. I’m thinking that a lot of the stuff I’ve been holding in my muscles just left with the weight loss. Now I can touch my toes. I have no idea what I was holding in my hamstrings before, but it doesn’t matter, it’s gone.
The yoga class was in an open air pavilion. At some point it got so hot that I thought I might die. Then a minute later it rained and I felt a huge relief. I hadn’t realized I was feeling the humidity build to the breaking point. Once it started raining, the humidity in the pavilion went down to something more tolerable. I’ve been thinking I might want to live in Bali next, but I’m not sure I like humidity enough to be able to live here. It’s so hot and humid. We had to ride motorbikes in the rain to dinner and back to Ubud.
Today was another day to drive the POS. Yay! I got to drive on the HFS Road again too. At least it wasn’t raining. Twice I got stuck behind a slow truck that stopped on a steep hill. The POS would not go up the hill once stopped. 1st gear was useless. I had to slide back down the hill both times and start from a less steep place. Traffic in Bali did not like this plan, but everyone survived.
Since it was a 5 minute detour, I decided to go back to the botanic gardens and do the Tree Top Adventure Park. They have 7 different ropes type courses. There are ziplines, hanging bridges, tight ropes, rope nets, tarzan type swinging ropes and a bunch of other challenges in each course. This is a weird thing to do by yourself. When you do good on a section of the course, there is no one to cheer you on or say good job. But, I could go alone or not at all. Still, it was quite interesting to do an activity that is highly based in “look at me!” by myself.
At some point, I am following a family of 8 and we hear a large rumbling sound like a large truck coming down the road. There is no large truck. I ask the guy in front of me what he thinks that is. As soon as the words left my mouth I knew and he confirmed it was rain. I saw picnickers off in the distance packing up and running for their cars. My first thought was “oh no”. Those of us standing on the platform just stared in disbelief as we watch a giant wall of water come booking it down the street and heading straight for the trees. For an instant you feel so trapped. We can’t get down. We can’t run. It’s going to rain. Then it’s a downpour. We have to keep going on the course and I can’t go fast because of the people in front of me. The curious thing is this feeling of dread as the rain approached and the desire to hurry up and get out of the rain. Even if I hurried, I’d still be soaked to the bone. After about 5 minutes I was completely soaked and the dread had gone away as we all gave in to our fate. We talked about how we use to run around in the rain on purpose when we were kids. Why was it so awful now? Once soaked, it became fun again. About 20 minutes later I’m off the course. This is a classic example of not loving what is. As soon as we saw the rain coming we all complained and dreaded it. The thought is, it shouldn’t rain when I’m dry. In the long run it was fun, but only when I was fully soaked and no longer able to hold on to the belief that I should be dry.
The restaurant is packed with people trying to stay out of the rain. A nice family lets me sit with them as there are no more open tables. They were delightful and had me laughing all the way through lunch. After lunch, the rain cleared up. I decided to do one last course.
There was a big tarzan type rope on the last course that people had to swing from a platform into a rope net and grab the net with both hands. People were getting crap beat out of them. There was much screaming. I decided this did not resemble fun and I would skip that course. Two stations into the course I did decide to do was a smaller version of this Tarzan rope. There was a worker at the bottom who tried to talk me through the process. Then I became possessed by some little girly girl and heard things like “I don’t want to” come out of my mouth. At first I had to look around to see who said that. Nope, it was me. It took me a good 5 minutes to work up the courage to jump. Who is this little girl that is scared of rain and a tarzan rope. I was harnessed into the rope so I’m not sure why it was so scary. It did hurt to slam into the net at the other side.
I arrived in Ubud late in the day, exhausted from the stressful driving. I went out with a friend that is living in Bali. We went for dinner and then out to sample the nightlife. You aren’t missing much if you haven’t seen the Ubud nightlife.
Yesterday I hired a driver to take me around and see interesting things. The hotel/villas I’m staying at helped me set it up. Most of the drive was on part of the Holy Fucking Shit Road that I drove in on a couple days ago. It was nice to be a passenger in a proper vehicle and for it to not be raining. By the light of morning, it’s still a scary road. This time when we rode on the top of the ancient crater, I could actually see the lakes below. It was so beautiful.
We went to the botanic gardens. They have a zip line ropes type course there that I wanted to do, but I only had flip flops on and you have to have closed toed shoes. The gardens were huge. It was more like a giant park with some gardens here and there inside. It was big enough that we drove around and then got out to see certain things instead of walking. One of my favorites was a fern garden. Since ferns are thought to have been here since prehistoric times, the building that housed some of the ferns was in the shape of a dinosaur. The gardens were wonderful.
Then we went to a spice market. At first, I almost said no to the market, but then decided spices would make a good gift to take back to the other teachers at Sam Ngao so we stopped briefly. Spices are not cheap.
Next was Pura Ulun Danu Beratan, a temple on a lake. I have seen pictures of this one and was excited to see it. If you’ve ever seen a picture of a Bali Temple, it was probably this one. It’s on their 50,000 rupia bill. It was crowded with people, of course. It was beautiful to see, although it was not in the middle of nowhere as pictures I’ve seen made it seem. It was in the lake, but not far off shore.
Then we made our way back up the HFS Road. I asked if the driver knew of a good place to eat lunch. He took me to his friend’s place. It had an eating area overlooking one of the big mountains and the valley below it. This might be one of the best restaurant views I’ve ever seen. Then to top it off, there were hundreds of dragon flies buzzing around and very cool breeze. I was almost cold by the end of lunch. Such a great feeling after being hot for so long. I’m posting a short video of the dragonflies.
The last stop of the day was the Munduk Waterfall. Why do all trails to waterfalls go down first? You want to hike up first, then your reward is a waterfall to cool off in and an easy hike back down. It doesn’t work that way. At least it’s not too hot at this altitude (3000-4000 feet). On the way up we got to one spot where some bugs were calling out so loudly it sounded like a cross between a squeaky swing set and a 5 alarm nuclear melt down. I’m posting the video just so you can hear the sound.
Then back to the villas. I just sat by the pool and read the rest of the day. I sat and talked to a nice lady that works at the villas for a while. I’m the only one here tonight. That’s kind of a weird thought. It seems so deserted. The really loud frogs from last night are not even making noise tonight. But, I can hear the tokay off in the distance and there are lots of other sounds of nature out there.
Two nights ago, I looked at flights back to the US thinking I could spend a week with Mom before I had to go back to school. Flights were over $3,000. What is going on? That is ridiculous. I may never be able to come back. I battle back and forth between feeling like I should go back and I’m supposed to be here (Asia). Going back for a week won’t accomplish much anyway. It’s a more permanent decision, not a temporary, one week decision. I felt quite at peace most of the day although I haven’t made the decision yet.
Today I had to take the POS up the HFS Road again, part of the way. It was better than in the rain, but still quite a challenge. Twice a car in front of me decided to stop on a steep hill. Twice I had to back down to a less steep portion because it was just to steep to get up in 1st gear from a dead stop. There’s no way to pass as the road isn’t even 2 lanes wide – more like 1.5 lanes wide. It’s like if you paved the road to my house and then hit the edges with a jackhammer, and then threw 70 vehicles, 100 motorbikes and 10 dogs on it.
I went back to the botanic gardens to do the Treetop Adventure Park. It had 7 different courses involving zip lines, rope nets, wooden bridges, swings, and other difficult things to traverse. I did 3 of the courses. During the second one, I was behind a big family who was much slower than me so I had to wait a lot. Then I heard this loud noise like an airplane was coming down the hill. It was rain. We watched in horror as it came down the nearby road and picnickers fled to their cars. There was nothing we could but watch it approach. There was no way down from the trees except to finish the course we were on. It dumped and I couldn’t go any faster than the group in front of me. By the time we finished I was soaked to the bone. At that point, I no longer care. There’s something uncomfortable about watching the rain come and the process of getting soaked when you didn’t want to. But, once the soaking is complete, it’s no longer uncomfortable. Maybe it takes that long to stop thinking “oh no, not rain” or maybe you can’t get any wetter so you give up caring. I had lunch and when the rain stopped, I did one more course. This last course had a part where you clipped into a rope and then swung Tarzan like to a large rope net. Then you had to climb the rope net. I turned into a girl and decided I didn’t want to do it, but there was no other way down. The workers below kept encouraging me. I kept saying “I don’t want to”. I don’t know this girl. Who is she? Where did she come from? I finally did it and it was ok.
I’m now in Ubud. Going to dinner with my friend Gwin tonight. My half sister, Carly gets here in a couple days. It will be nice to have company.
(c) All rights reserved Kimberly Fiore
Really? Graffiti on cactus?
No bare feet on the cactus.
Tree Top AdventureTree Top AdventureTree Top Adventure
Today I had booked a tour through my hotel. It didn’t turn out to be a tour so much as it was a 15 year old kid leading me through the jungle to see a waterfall. I wanted to see the waterfall and some rice terraces and that’s what I got so it was ok that it wasn’t a tour. The waterfall didn’t seem to have any way to it other than the tiny trail we took and there was no tourist parking lot and no other people so that was cool. The rest of the walking was beautiful too.
I can’t remember if I wrote about this before or just thought about it. When I was in Vietnam and got sick, I didn’t want to eat. Part of it was because everything made me feel bad, but part of it felt like my body wanted to fast. I’ve never fasted before and I know that if you fast for more than a few days your body starts to heal things and it becomes like a full body reset. I felt very strongly like my body wanted to reset, but because I was traveling, I felt scared to fast. Since I didn’t have time to exercise for a few months before I left the US, I haven’t exercised since I moved to Thailand, and I was sick for so long, I’ve lost a lot of weight and it’s mostly muscle. My arms and legs are super tiny. For whatever reason, I’m still holding some fat in the belly just in case? I don’t feel overly concerned about it though. It kind of feels like a reset, like I’m down to muscle ground zero, and when I start exercising again, I’ll start re-growing muscle from a reset place without all the old stories I use to carry in my muscles. I’m not sure if that’s even possible, but that’s what it feels like. I count the tiny walk I did today as the first day of new muscles.
After hiking I went to the pool. It was sooooo delightfully cold. I tried to work on lesson plans and some engineering work, but the wifi here is so spotty, I didn’t get as much done as I hoped. I changed into the room I booked. It’s huge. There is a queen bed and a twin in here. The balcony is bigger than the entire room I had last night. It overlooks the rice fields and has a rushing creek behind it. It has a roof that is open where the roof meets the wall so I’ll be one with the bugs again!
I took a class at the hotel in making offerings. They weave intricate baskets and decorative things out of palm leaves, then put flowers and other things in them and use them as offerings. It’s like paper cut out snowflakes meets origami. So, one lady who didn’t speak English tried to teach me how to make them. Another lady joined in. If I didn’t get it right immediately, the second lady would take it from me and do it. I’m not sure if it was really difficult or if they were really bad teachers. Considering I am quite artistic, I’m going with bad teaching. It basically became an exercise in watching them make things and then decorating them with flowers.
Now it’s dark and I’m sitting in my giant room. The amount of things out there calling to each other is ridiculous. I assume the really loud ones are frogs, but I am not sure. This is the noisiest place I’ve ever been. I grew up in Florida on a marshy creek and there was never this much going on at night. There are at least 20 different bug/frog sounds, the stream behind my room, a cat with a lot to say, random motorbikes, and off in the distance, a gong. But, so far, no tokay!
Today I went diving. I had almost private diving again. There was another guy diving and since we were different experience levels, they gave us two dive guides so that I could do deeper and longer dives. Wow, I’ve never had a dive company do that before. It was shore diving. They drove us 20 minutes to the next town. The shore operation was fascinating. It was a 5 minute walk from the parking lot down a trail to a rock “beach”. There were quite a few other divers. There were porters that brought all the stuff down. Woman would carry bags or bins of gear down to the beach on their heads. I saw some carrying tanks on their heads as well. Then there were guys that rode motorbikes down while carrying 4 tanks and weight belts. I’ve seen a lot of things on motorbikes, but four heavy tanks of air balanced in front of them was just nuts. Then, the whole process would reverse itself as they brought stuff back up to the parking lot.
Getting in the water was tricky as there was no sand, just rock and the rock moves as the water and your feet connect with them. The rocks are all black and when you swam out to the sandy part, it was all black. I’ve never dove blank sand before. It looked so alien. Because it’s so rocky, there is very little coral as it’s difficult for coral to attach to rock. There is a wreck not far off shore which is full of coral and fish life. The ship was the USAT Liberty which was a cargo ship that was torpedoed in 1942. They were able to beach it on Bali and get the cargo off. It stayed beached until 1963 when the tremors from a volcanic eruption caused it to slide into the water and sink. This area is known for what is called muck diving. Not a ton of big fish, but lots of tiny things hidden in the rocks, sand and the little bit of coral that has managed to grow. There is a small royal blue fish about 1 to 2 inches long that I’ve seen on almost every dive everywhere around the world. My favourite part was seeing schools of these swimming above the black sand. The black background made the blue so sharp it looked like the fish were glowing with blue light. I’m not a huge fan of wrecks, but this one was pretty cool. The amount of coral and fish life was amazing, probably because there isn’t much else around. The wreck was very large too. Saw another sea turtle. The second dive was like Easter egg hunting – swimming from one tiny bit of coral reef to the next looking for tiny creatures. My dive guide was good at finding them. He found an itty bitty sea horse about a quarter inch big.
After diving I ventured into town. I think ‘town’ might be a big word for where I’m staying. I think it was small enough that I actually walked the length of two towns. There is basically one street and that is all. It is lined with guest houses and homestays, restaurants, and dive shops. It’s mostly still a fishing village. I got a massage. They use oil so now I’m just hot, sweaty, covered in oil and sand. Everything is sticking to me. I had dinner at a different place and wanted to stay out and check out the place with live music, but I couldn’t stand the oil anymore and I love the place I’m staying so the thought of a shower and then camping out in my wonderful bed won over live music.
(c) All rights reserved Kimberly Fiore
Downtown AmedDowntown AmedThe porch of my roomOh, this is a good ideaWow
My experience with making a plan is that 90% of the time nothing goes according to the plan. Still, we make plans. Today was no different. The first beach I chose was supposed to have the blackest sand on this side of Bali according to the guide book. I got there and it was a construction zone. Machines were moving large boulders around. The tide was in so there was no beach. I could tell that if there had been a beach, it would have had very black sand. So, back into the POS to find the next beach. I got to see rice fields on the way to and from the beach so, check! – Picture of rice fields. Now, one of the side roads I was going to take later to see rice fields didn’t need to happen. The next beach was supposed to have a ton of mica in the sand so it’s extra glittery. I like glitter. There was a parking lot and some Bali restaurants and not much else. Since the tide was still in, the water came up to the wall. I could tell from the parking lot, that, yes, this would be a glittery beach, but not right now. I tried to order lunch, but all they had was fish. How do you have fish, but not shrimp? Then again, Google Translator could be lying. It does that often. I gave up and decided to eat lunch at the next beach. The next beach was not part of the plan, but I was determined to get a beach. No, not a beach. It was a harbor for a very large ferry and more dive operations than I’ve ever seen in one location. I did find a restaurant for lunch though. So, that’s the end of the beach portion of the plan and we are 0 for 3.
At many points of the day I am sweating so hard that I think water is pouring out of my face. I didn’t think a face could sweat that much. I grew up in Florida, but I don’t remember heat and humidity like this.
I decided to head to the place I’m staying tonight. The road goes more inland. There is a water temple on the way which is the next part of the plan. Google Maps decides to not work so we are going by signs and the map in the guide book. It shouldn’t be an issue to get to Amed without google maps, but the water temple is probably a loss and hopefully the resort is easy to find when I get to Amed.
I’ve finally figured out what the white stripes on the road mean. If you see a white stripe on the road, there is a driving lane to the left of the stripe, a driving lane to the right of the stripe and a driving lane straddling the stripe. At some point the road narrowed and buildings lined both sides of the road so there was no way to pull over, stop and check the map. The road wound up and down with huge curves. Often, the buildings would go away on one side of the road revealing stunning views. I couldn’t take pictures of any of it because there was no where to stop and I need both my hands to drive. The signs did not lead me astray though. I only missed one turn – the one to the water temple.
I saw an area with about 20 cars parked so I assumed that might be the temple. I had to drive quite a distance before I found a place I could turn around. I wasn’t going to miss everything on the plan though so I went back and it was the parking for the water temple! Actually, it wasn’t a temple, but a water palace. Taman Tirta Gangga was built in 1948 and has two swimming ponds, and a bunch of other ponds with fountains and koi in them. My favorite had stepping stones at water level so it felt like you were walking on water. They led different paths through the water like a labyrinth. As I headed back to my car there was a guy with snakes you could pay to pose with for pictures. He also had a bat and tiny owls. OWLS. My distaste of animal tourism out the window. Hell yea, I’ll pay you to hold a tiny owl and get my picture taken.
After that I headed to Amed by way of sign instead of electronic map. The road got smaller and smaller until it was slightly larger than one lane. Yet from the signs advertising guesthouses and scuba diving, I knew I was on the right path. I almost missed the sign that pointed to the place where I’m staying, but managed to hit the brakes and turn at the last second. I parked near the entrance and a guy asked if I was Kim.
This is no five star resort, but I’m in love with it. The dive shop is at the same place as the hotel so I was able to check in and I don’t have far to go tomorrow morning. There are a row of rooms on either side of a courtyard. Almost the entire courtyard is taken up by a pool. There’s a restaurant and a short distance from the restaurant and the pool is a black sand beach. You can see huge mountains when you are in the ocean. Each room has a covered deck looking out to the ocean and the decks all have bean bag chairs on them. My room is large, very yellow and has a bed built into the middle of the room. I can hear the ocean from my room. I stayed here for dinner because I’ve had enough venturing out for today and because I love this place. The food was great and I got to catch up on yesterday and today’s blogs.
I checked in with Mom. My brother is there again. They were getting ready to go to the funeral of my cousin’s son. The funeral for my Mom’s husband is Saturday. I wish I could be there. I’ve been struggling with feeling like I should go back and feeling very strongly that it isn’t the right decision. There’s a huge part of me that doesn’t want to go back to Sam Ngao and teach. That part is telling me to move back to the US. To stay in Sam Ngao would be the more difficult choice. I don’t feel that it’s the right time to go back to the US. I’m stuck again in the place of what “should” I do. I’m thinking of the future instead of being here. I’m feeling like I need to have a plan, make a decision, control the situation. But, I know that this is all part of the learning. The truth is that I don’t know the right answer, I don’t have to make a decision now and if I control the situation, it will not turn out happy for me. So, as uncomfortable as it is for me, I wait. I wait for life to unfold and happen the way it should.
I also had the thought on the dive boat yesterday that I would love to be on a boat and diving every day. Then I had the thought that I don’t have the money to get my dive master certification and it would be a hard life financially. I see that I took something wonderful that I was enjoying and in my head made it impossible to have that as my life. Instead, my life will be teaching in Sam Ngao, moving to Wisconsin which I have no desire to do, or some unknown other thing that is also ok, but I don’t love it. So, the belief that there’s not enough for me is still in operation at a very subtle level. I can never really have what I want. This has been one of my core issues. I want to love my life. I want to love my work and have it be enough financially. I want to put an end to drama and the need for there to always be some hurdle to get over. And it’s tied to doing and planning. And it’s tied to what’s going on with Mom. And it’s tied to the dissolving of the ego. So for now, I have no plan and I don’t know what I’m going to do in a couple weeks when vacation is over. I have no idea how I’m going to get that job I love or what that job is. I’m just watching what comes up and noticing it.
Rraine Drops 