Tag: rrainedrops

OMFG

On By rrainefioreIn Teaching, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Wow.  I got up this morning and didn’t feel nervous about my first day teaching.  I didn’t feel excited either.  I have no doubt I can do this.  We were supposed to teach 6 middle school classes – the same English lesson plan.  We are teaching in pairs which is part of why I didn’t feel nervous.  This won’t be our final school.  It’s just one day and it will be good practice.  School starts with all the kids in lines per their age/grade in the front yard of the school.  They had a band which I was quite impressed with.  They were better than any middle school band I’ve ever heard.  They raised the flag, did the national anthem, and then sang a bunch of other songs.  Then a couple teachers spoke to the group.  I teared up a few times as it started to hit home that I would be doing this every day in the very near future.

Then we were told that since the assembly went so quickly that we would do 4 classes before lunch instead of 3.  We went to our first class.  They did ok with the vocabulary words, but putting them into sentences didn’t go as smoothly.  They were not too interested in learning English.  We had some fun games for them to play.  There are a few students who are the top students and this was easy for them and then there were kids at the opposite end of the spectrum.  It was so difficult to keep their attention.  One second, you had it, the next was total chaos.  Each class was the same – some learning, but more time spent trying to get their attention.

After, 3 classes, they left for lunch even though we had been told 4 classes before lunch.  Then they told us 2 classes after lunch.  Apparently, nothing ever goes as planned or as you are told it will go.  I want to learn to go with the flow of life?  Ok, here it is.  I felt ok at lunch and felt like two more classes would be ok, but I can’t say I was having fun or enjoying myself.  So far, this is not my idea of a fun job.  It’s just the first day and I know that where I get placed in the future may be very different.

We got back and there were only a few kids in our class.  They told us no more class for the day.  Huh?  Then the teachers told us our grade was done for the day so I went and watched another teacher pair.  They seemed to be having similar issues to what we had.  Then our last class of the day – mayhem.  They didn’t get the opening activity we did.  They were all over the classroom.  Half of them participated.  The other half didn’t. Everything we did to get their attention failed.  Then a half hour in, they started packing up their bags and putting their chairs on their desks, telling us class was over when it wasn’t.  I felt completely useless.  Another one of the teacher pairs ran in and helped us corral them, but it was difficult even after that.  Total chaos.

It was hot and we have to wear pretty conservative clothes.  It wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated, but I was soaked by the end of the day and sooooo ready for a cold shower.  Still, this is “winter” so come June, whoa.

If I end up with a class like this, I feel I won’t last a week in my job.  Some of the other teachers commented that they had fun today.  I didn’t think today was horrible, but I didn’t find it fun either.  Do I need to re evaluate my idea of fun?  What did I expect?  What do I wish it was like instead?  I expected this, but not quite as unruly.  I’m not judging myself.  I did my best and my best didn’t quite cut it so I have some work to do learning classroom management.  I realize I wouldn’t want to sit in language classes all day either.  I think what I want is to teach those that want to learn.  I feel like they won’t retain or use anything they learned today which feels a bit like a waste of time.  Of course this day was as much for our learning as theirs.  I learned I need to work on classroom management.  I feel this isn’t the job for me, but I’m here and this is what I’m doing so I might as well learn something.  I feel that I’ve come a long way with self judgments as I don’t feel an emotional charge to how the day went.  I am a bit nervous about going off to some school by myself in the very near future.  Wish I had more pictures to share, but that was one thing too many for me.  I’m sure there will be more in the future.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

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Jello

On By rrainefioreIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Today was a roller coaster of “I don’t want to do this”. and “It’ll be ok”.  We went over our lesson plans for tomorrow.  Tomorrow we are teaching all day at a school – 6 classes.  We are in pairs and each pair will be teaching the lesson plan we created last night to each of the classes we are assigned to.  I’m not excited to do this, but I am curious about how I will feel about teaching after a full day of it.

Tonight after dinner, I thought I’d try something different so I ordered a caramel tea with milk pudding.  I had no idea what that meant and I’m still not quite sure.  I tasted like iced tea with caramel sauce in it.  It was milky too.  Then at the bottom were large ice cube sized chunks of super sweet gooey gelatinous stuff.  It was drinkable, but overall, it was just wrong.  I will not order that again.  I’ve had ice cream inside mochi – mochi ball – I’d highly recommend this gelatin delight.  One night I had what looked like deep fried broccoli.  Nope.  It was deep fried something with the flavor of garlic and scallions.  I called it gummy scallions.  It was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever had, but I’d do it again.  There are all sorts of gummy candies.  They put black jello on rice and call it dessert.  There’s boba tea and then all sorts of versions of drink that resemble that, but are not quite that.  What is this fascination Thais have with gelatin?

Had a great lunch today at a cute place that had bull dogs running around the restaurant.  I’m sure it’s sanitary.  Nothing gelatinous there.  One of the bulldogs came running up to me and gave me his toy.  Then he jumped up in my lap and demanded attention.  When I went to give my camera to a friend to take a picture, he then started barking at me and growling.  I think maybe it was a cat in a bull dog body.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

Slightly Better

On By rrainefioreIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

We did our first lessons in class today.  I didn’t die.  I didn’t fail.  So, I feel a lot better than I did yesterday.  I don’t feel excited about it and I don’t feel like this is the job for me, but at least I’m pretty sure I can do it.  I still haven’t identified why this is feeling so dire.  I know the emotional level is much higher than the actual situation warrants.  This usually means the situation is tapping into a deeper issue I haven’t resolved yet.  I’m too exhausted right now to investigate into that…..  But, rest assured, I will be ok and somewhere along the line, I’ll enjoy this again.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

Whose Idea was This?

On By rrainefioreIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Today we started our TESOL class.  We talked about styles of teaching and lesson plans.  For homework, we were broken into groups and had to create a lesson plan that we will present tomorrow.  It was all so new to me and it just feels impossible.  It took our group all evening to do the lesson plan which just made me feel worse, if worse was even possible.  The feeling of “Where’s the Undo Button” came up again.  I don’t want to be here.  I don’t want to be a teacher.  Worse yet, I won’t be able to do it.  I’m just going to fail miserably.  I want to run away and I can’t go anywhere.  I can’t undo this decision.  Yesterday, I was excited about this.  Today, I’m frozen in my tracks.  I tried going to my room to scream and cry and it helped a little, but I still feel completely incapable.  I want to do something to alleviate how uncomfortable this feels, but there is nothing I can do.  The cognitive side of my brain knows I’ll be fine, I can do this.  But, the inadequate feelings are not going away just because I know this is stupid.  I’d like to wrap this blog up in a pretty package with pictures, lessons learned, and a big smile on my face, but I can’t.  Maybe tomorrow.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

On By rrainefioreIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Today we did laundry.  That was interesting.  They don’t have laundromats like in the US.  It’s just a line of washing machines next to the road.  It was interesting trying to figure out what buttons to push.  It took forever, but it all worked and now our clothes are clean!  Then we wandered around a different neighborhood, got Thai massages and found a wonderful night market.  The night market was touristy and prices were higher than other places, but most of the non-food items were handmade art and clothing of real good quality.  And, with every market, there was lots and lots of food.  I had a touch of heat exhaustion during the day so I was happy to call it an early night.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

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Shoes at our front door step
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Figuring out Laundry
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Roadside “Laundromat”

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Cage of Beach Toys
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Bad Marketing for Child’s Toy

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A Delightful Wrong Turn

On By rrainefioreIn Uncategorized1 Comment

We had today off of class.  A few of us went out in search of the beach we had been to last night.  We took a very long songtao ride.  It took way longer than we thought it would.  The directions we had been given were get off the songtao, go left, cross a bridge, turn left after the 2nd mini mart.  Turn left (the first one) is drastically different depending on what direction you are facing when you get off the truck.  We took the wrong left.  It led us to a beach we didn’t want to go to.  Then down a dead end street.  We saw another street on the other side of a big field so we crossed the sketchy field and walked up the road.  On one side of the road was a creek with so many fishing boats on it that it was difficult to figure out how they all fit in there.  The other side of the road had people selling fresh fish.  Horseshoe crab, blue crap, giant prawns, lobster, squid and more.  Behind most of the tanks were grills, kitchens, and restaurants.

We also saw monkeys.  We eventually found our way to the beach we had been at the night before.  There were more places to eat, beach vendors, pony rides, tons of people swimming or laying out on chairs.  It was cooler than it has been in days which was nice.  We spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach and then went back to the fish market area for dinner.  It was one of the best meals I’ve had in Thailand so far.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

Happy New Year

On By rrainefioreIn Thailand, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Today we had more language and culture lessons.  We also had a sharing session where we were asked to write down why we were here.  Not, the canned polite response, but the real one – were we looking for something, running from something, what have we gone through to get here, what were we hoping to learn or how did we want to grow, etc.  I thought it was a very brave and real way to look at the situation.  I think it’s a huge part of what needs to be dealt with to learn and grow.  We also talked about the various emotions that may come up while adjusting to our new lives and various ways to deal with that.  I’m sure the importance of the exercises was lost on many.

I’m very impressed with this company.  One of the quotes I’ve seen several times through them is “You may not get the experience you want, but you will get the experience you need”.  I feel they have done a good job of stressing the importance of releasing expectations, embracing the new culture and going with the flow.  It’s almost ATP meets teaching English.  I am impressed.

Tonight was New Year’s Eve.  They planned a beach bbq.  I thought this might be kind of hokey and I kind of felt bad that the whole staff had to hang out with us on NYE, but it was awesome.  The beach was beautiful, the food was great.  A truck drove up and started playing music.  They don’t wait until midnight to set off fireworks so they were going off all night.  There were more fireworks at midnight, though.  People were sending off the floating lanterns too.  It was a beautiful way to celebrate the end of the year and the start of my new life in Thailand.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

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Elephants

On By rrainefioreIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Today they took us to a pineapple farm.  The pineapple is delicious here.  Xploreasia bought some of the pineapple that was no longer fit for humans to take to the Hutsadin elephant foundation to donate for the elephants.  I love the way Xploreaisa is giving back to the community in unique ways.  Then they took us to see the elephants.  They rescue elephants.  In order to pay for their costs, they sell rides or walks with the elephants and they have an elephant show.  It’s not ideal to have to “sell” them out to tourists, but it’s the only way they can afford to feed and care for them.  We got to feed them.  We also had Thai language class and had a talk about what it’s like to work with agents and schools.  We may have agents that represent us and help us with the teaching contract, accommodations, payroll, etc or we may work directly with the school.  Each situation will be different.  It may be fairly organized and structured or it may be the complete opposite.  The range of things we may encounter covers just about everything.  After that we went to the Thai market which I wrote about in my other blog from today.

After the market, I went out to a small shopping center with my house mates.  I really like my house mates.  There are 5 of us in this house.  We all get along and I feel like I have some of the more mature people in the class as my house mates.  There are 27 of us in class and I am the oldest by probably 20 years.  It feels odd at times for me.  The difference in age can go from hardly noticeable to staggering in a split second.  It’s difficult to quite put my finger on what it is.  I could say it’s maturity or a lack of it, but that’s not really it.  It’s more like an energy or frequency difference.  There is a more frantic energy to them as a whole which feels loud and awkward.  This tends to be more noticeable during the more social times and is hardly there during learning times.   There are quite a few that I can tell are going to be amazing teachers and are going to embrace the experience with an open heart and great courage.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

Finally, I’m Excited

On By rrainefioreIn ThailandLeave a comment

One of the most frequent questions I received from people before I left Colorado was “Are you excited”?  No.  I rarely, if ever, was excited.  The enormity of what I’m doing was too much.  What am I doing?  Who’s decision was this?  Oh crap, it was mine.  All along, I’ve known I would be fine, but if I can’t imagine myself living in Thailand, I couldn’t find the excitement.  Plus, there was so much to do to get ready that it was hard to see past the to-do list.  Tonight they took us to a Thai market, not one foreigners go to, but one where Thais go.  It was hot and crowded and there was so much food.  I had no idea what 95% of the food was.  We broke up into small groups and each group had someone from Xploreasia with them to help us with what everything was.  And we tried to order food in without using English.  I loved it and I was so excited to try so many things.  I can see myself going out in the evening and wandering around, finding my dinner, and just sitting on the side of the road people watching.  This is the first time this has felt real in a way where I can see myself living here.  It feels good.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

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Rescue Paws

On By rrainefioreIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Today we went to a local temple and learned a lot about Buddhist temples.  It was right on the ocean and was very unique.  It had a beautiful view of Hua Hin off in the distance.

(c) all rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

After the temple we went to Rescue Paws.  There are lot of stray dogs in Thailand.  The Thai people often feed them, but don’t take them in as pets and don’t take care of them when they are sick.  And they don’t get spayed or neutered so there are so many.  Rescue Paws feeds a lot of dogs, spays or neuters dogs and returns them to their packs.  They also help sick dogs and try to adopt dogs to Canada that aren’t part of a pack.   We toured their kennels and surgery room and got to meet some of the dogs. If you want to learn more about the organization or help support them, here is their website. https://web.facebook.com/RescuePawsThailand/

 

Then we had Thai language lessons and a Thai politics class.  Then they took us to a Muay Thai class.  It was a lot like kickboxing.  They showed us basic punching and kicking moves.  It looked like almost everyone loved it.  I decided it was meh.