This morning was goodbye time.  At morning assembly, they said goodbye to me in front of the whole school.  The director gave a speech and Pat translated.  He talked about how he could see my strong intention and kindness that I brought to the students every day.  Kru Pat gave a speech and I gave a speech.  Some of the teachers gave me gifts including Kru Pit who told me good luck and be happy in Thai and then hugged me.  Two of my students gave speeches too.  Of course, I was crying.  So many people told me not to cry.  It makes them so uncomfortable when someone shows emotion.  Noi even asked me if I felt relief after releasing all my bad feelings.  What bad feelings?  Crying isn’t bad.  It’s an emotion, it’s a natural part of being human.  Everything exists at once, it’s not bad and then good.  But, how do you explain that who believes in black and white so strongly?

Then everyone went into the meeting hall where they had ceremonies to say goodbye to the teacher who is retiring.  There was a picture slide show, speeches, gifts, photos, singing, students prostrating, and more photos.  One of the gifts at each going away I’ve seen is a fan.  I wonder if a fan is the most popular gift.  I’m glad I didn’t get a fan.  I wouldn’t be able to take it with me.  I love the singing and think it is a wonderful way to show gratitude, but I’m not too fond of the prostration.  Why does this bother as a sign of respect, but singing doesn’t?  (I had video of the singing, but wifi doesn’t want me to upload them right now).  After all this each class came up on stage and took a photo with the teacher.  When M1 was up there I remember thinking they looked so young (11 and 12 year olds).  It struck me that here was a man saying goodbye to his old life, an old life as a teacher ending standing next to so much youth, lives that had barely begun.

After all the pictures most students and teachers had left.  I noticed the M6/1 class standing in a circle patiently waiting for all the pictures to be done.  They brought the retiring teacher into the center of the circle and sang to him.  It was beautiful to watch.  Before they had started they had asked me to wait and not leave the meeting hall yet.  After they were done with him, they brought me into the center of the circle.  Someone said they had to sing in English and they didn’t know what to sing so they sang the alphabet song.  It was hysterical.  Then they tried to sing “See you again”, but didn’t get past the first chorus.  They finished with a Thai song.  It was very touching and my favorite memory of the day.  I didn’t get any photos or video of it.  If they surface later, I’ll post them.

I wanted to buy one of the school shirts.  There was one dark green one left and I was holding it up to see if it would fit.  Kru Chelon came in and saw me.  She had me try it on and then was so excited because she wanted to get me something, but didn’t know what so she bought the shirt for me.  So sweet!

Random thought of the day:  Why don’t they make belts in different sizes?  Every girl has a belt that is way too big for her.  So the tail of the belt wraps all the way around to her back or over to the other side.  Since this is annoying, they hold the belt in place with a binder clip.

I didn’t do much the rest of the day which was good because I’m still sick and just feel horrible.  Noi was supposed to come get the bags I’m leaving with her after school.  She decided not to take them and we went to dinner instead.  I felt so horrible that I barely made it through dinner, but I had no food at home so I didn’t really have much choice.  At some point she said she thought Americans were frank and went on about how this was a bad thing.  This is one part of Thai culture I just don’t agree with.  I’d rather someone be honest with me than lie to me just because lying is “nicer”.  This conversation, along with one about me being a liar because I say “I don’t know”, did me in.  I’m too sick to deal with this right now.

(c) All rights reserved Kimberly Fiore