Last weekend walking through the Sunday morning market was the first time I felt sad about leaving.  As is with change of any type, there is a wide mix of feelings.  There are thing I love about this little part of Thailand so I am excited to leave, overwhelmed by all that has to be done, confused about what’s next, and sad to say goodbyes.  I’m just trying to be with it all and still say yes.  I don’t know how I’m going to pull everything together to be ready to leave in less than two months.

Saturday after massage I stayed and watched football for a while.  There are always people playing football near the dam on Saturdays and Sundays.  It was fun to watch.  Someone is announcing the game over the loud speaker.  There are a bunch of people in the stands and on the hill are a bunch of wives or mothers cheering them on.  It’s fun to listen to the wives get all worked up screaming in high pitched voices.  Just watching it reminded me of Florida – the climate, the smell of grass, well, mostly the smell of grass.  I am once again reminded that one of the biggest reasons this has all been difficult is because of how much of it reminds me of my childhood.  My childhood was mostly unpleasant and I’m feeling a lot of that.  I’ve worked on the big issues from my childhood, but I think this is working on all the little things and tiny pieces of unpleasant that still hanging out in my body. None of them feel like complete issues or thoughts or events, but more like crumbs from those things I have already worked so hard on.

On Sunday the country voted on a new constitution.  There is much controversy over the constitution.  I don’t feel at liberty to write more than that about it.  Noi took me to the polls with her.  It was just a few tables, some guards and someone checking your name off a list in a school room.  I didn’t expect it to be anything exciting, but still, I feel a little more a part of history now.  The new constitution won the vote.

(c) All rights reserved Kimberly Fiore