After a couple of digging deeper blogs I thought I’d write one that was a little shallower.  Here are some random thoughts or observations that I’ve had lately.

The people behind the drink carts or at small coffee shops in Thailand are actually high tech mixologists and would give any bartender a run for their money.  Any time you order a drink, it takes at least 10 minutes to make and involves many different substances and stages of mixing those substances.  First they pour something into a measuring cup.  Then they put something else in the measuring cup and use a spoon to stir it.  Then they pour that into another cup and use a squeeze bottle to put something else in.  Sometimes there are canisters of unknown powder and sometimes a blender is involved.  If fruit is involved it’s guaranteed to be delicious.  I think they are just mixing 12 different types of sugar into water, but I’m not sure.

I have been noticing that most of my classes have similar dynamics to them to the point where it appears that each class has the same students in them.  Each class has one very small boy who is smart and outspoken.  Each class has at least one larger sized gay boy who has a constant sidekick, a short overweight girl.  Each class has a tall skinny girl who looks like I did as a teenager, all legs and no body.  She is usually very good at English.  There is always a quiet boy who appears that he isn’t pay attention or isn’t getting it, but he’s just shy and actually was paying attention.  He’s usually not fat, but bigger in stature.  There’s one or two girls with a short bob haircut that are not twins, but look like they could be sisters of the other similar girls in other classes.  These are the popular witty girls.  Then there’s a bunch of gay boys that are skinny and wiry and have fabulous dance moves.  There’s usually one overweight kid who could crush you in a fight, but wouldn’t crush a bug.  There’s the snobby girl, the boy with learning disabilities, and the future military guy.  The part that strikes me is not that each class has similar personalities, but that they physically look the same.  In Thailand, each class travels around for the day together – they all go to the same math class, then the same English class, then the same PE class, etc.  They don’t go to classes based on their individual aptitude.  When you group people like this, do typical stereotypes or architypes develop out of this?  Does the body shape and some of the physical attributes follow the personality or does the personality follow the body?  Is this what happens all over the world?  Does each city, tribe, community, family, etc, recreate similar architypes to balance out the group?  Is this nature’s way of creating balance in a human grouping?  Is this patterns of nature just repeating everywhere humans go similar to how the crystalline structure of a particular crystal will repeat its pattern over and over?  Is it more obvious in this situation because the students have been grouped like this all through school?  Hmmmm the human crystal.

Thailand has a stray do problem.  They have a stray cat problem too, but since cats are small and aren’t pack animals they seem to cause less issues.  When I started here there were two dogs that hung out at school and a few dogs that hung out near where we live.  There are some pet dogs too, but they don’t roam around so they don’t pack.  Then lately, I’ve noticed a lot more dogs around school. The female school dog is very vicious when she sees one of the other dogs.  One of the packs looks fairly healthy without the mange and only some ribs showing.  One of them has a jingle bell that is so loud I keep expecting to hear Christmas carols.  So, I assume this pack were pets not too long ago.  The other pack looks like ‘When Zombies Attack’.  They are scrawny, starving, have little to no hair, mange, and most of them only have two or three good working legs.  One night this week I was sitting downstairs and heard a low growl outside my window.  I assumed it was a dog, but wasn’t completely sure that it wasn’t a dragon come to set my house on fire.  Then I heard another one on the other side of the house.  I wasn’t scared because I was in my house, but now I’m a bit sketched about going outside at night.  The growling went on for 15 minutes and then turned into a gang fight in the street.  I heard people yelling out their windows, but that didn’t help.  Then it sounded like dogs dying.  Eventually it stopped.  They must have moved on to another location because I heard the same thing, but from farther away.  It went on for hours.  It sounded like a systematic extermination of the weaker dog packs.  I expected to find dead dogs everywhere the next morning, but the only dogs I saw were alive.  I can’t even tell if any are missing because I only know four.  The two school dogs appear to be the same and the jingle bell dog appears to be the same.  I haven’t seen the black dog whose back legs are paralyzed.

Thais seem to be obsessed with money and seem to be very superstitious.  There is a lot of making a wish and then giving an offering to a specific temple to have that wish fulfilled.   Gambling is illegal, but they love their lottery.  They believe in ghosts and fortune tellers and holy water.  They are quick to give to others and in general are very generous.  They believe that if you live a good life in this life and make the right offerings and prayers then you will come back wealthy and happy in the next life.  Not once have I heard happy linked with being spiritually aware or with having great relationships or with having a job you like or any other thing.  It seems to always be linked with money.  This also kind of ties in with what I’ve been experiencing about living in the future, but in this case the future isn’t even this lifetime.  A lot of what they do is to secure a better life next time.  There is no now.  I question if the monks who are seeking or have found enlightenment actually have, as it seems that the Buddhist religion is propagating most of the superstition.  Most of the monks look sickly and have obvious musculature problems.  If they are living in True Nature most of the time shouldn’t their bodies be more free of character patterns, old stories, stress and defenses?  Or have the monks forsaken living in their bodies in search of the spiritual world and their bodies therefore suffer from bad nutrition and neglect?  Then I think on other religions and think that it isn’t much different.  Hindus pray to tons of different gods for tons of different reasons.  Christians are good in this lifetime for the promise of Heaven in their future.  The new age spiritual movement is full of things like figuring out your past lives or taking drugs so that you can find enlightenment at the cost of not being here.  Is it a religious thing or just a human nature thing?

“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge”. – Daniel J Boorstin

(c) All rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

Last weekend walking through the Sunday morning market was the first time I felt sad about leaving.  As is with change of any type, there is a wide mix of feelings.  There are thing I love about this little part of Thailand so I am excited to leave, overwhelmed by all that has to be done, confused about what’s next, and sad to say goodbyes.  I’m just trying to be with it all and still say yes.  I don’t know how I’m going to pull everything together to be ready to leave in less than two months.

Saturday after massage I stayed and watched football for a while.  There are always people playing football near the dam on Saturdays and Sundays.  It was fun to watch.  Someone is announcing the game over the loud speaker.  There are a bunch of people in the stands and on the hill are a bunch of wives or mothers cheering them on.  It’s fun to listen to the wives get all worked up screaming in high pitched voices.  Just watching it reminded me of Florida – the climate, the smell of grass, well, mostly the smell of grass.  I am once again reminded that one of the biggest reasons this has all been difficult is because of how much of it reminds me of my childhood.  My childhood was mostly unpleasant and I’m feeling a lot of that.  I’ve worked on the big issues from my childhood, but I think this is working on all the little things and tiny pieces of unpleasant that still hanging out in my body. None of them feel like complete issues or thoughts or events, but more like crumbs from those things I have already worked so hard on.

On Sunday the country voted on a new constitution.  There is much controversy over the constitution.  I don’t feel at liberty to write more than that about it.  Noi took me to the polls with her.  It was just a few tables, some guards and someone checking your name off a list in a school room.  I didn’t expect it to be anything exciting, but still, I feel a little more a part of history now.  The new constitution won the vote.

(c) All rights reserved Kimberly Fiore

I have heard the concept of living life where you only say yes.  Just say yes to everything – say yes to life.  I’ve tried this before, and of course, it isn’t literal – you don’t say yes to everything, but it’s the spirit of it.  So, let’s try it again.

Sunday I went to the market and got food for the week.  Monday after school I was going to wash the veggies and prep meals.  I was also going to try to research going to China since I have to leave Thailand when my job is over.  When my contract is over, my visa may be canceled.  Then I have 24 hours to leave the country.  After that, I can come back in on a 30 day tourist visa.  I have wanted to visit China so this seems like a good time.  Anyway, those were my intentions for Monday night.

Monday after school, Noi told me that the father of the lady that has the coffee shop died.  She is the one that remembered from the first time, what I liked to drink and she is so nice.  Noi asked if I wanted to go to the funeral.  No, I just want to go home.  I’m so exhausted.  But, isn’t this exactly why I came here, to experience another culture?  So, I decided from now until I leave, I’m just saying yes and trusting that all the other things that have to get done will get done somehow.  First we went to a tiny shop in the neighborhood.  Noi said it was a small shop, but it had everything.  She needed envelopes and I badly needed a coca cola.  This store was smaller than my bathroom, but it had food, snacks, a coca cola, a bunch of other things and envelopes.  It did seem to have everything – kind of like a magician’s bag.  We got two envelopes.  You put money in the envelope and put your name on the outside to give to the family of the deceased.

When someone dies they do a funeral type service every night for 3 nights.  This was the last night.  They put a large event tent over the road in front of the family’s house.  There was a very bright white light at the intersection with a rotating red light on top so people knew where to go or not to drive down that street.  It was bright and blingy enough I thought maybe there was going to be a dance party after, but no.  So basically everyone sits in plastic chairs in the street in the front of the house under a long tent.  The family and monks are in the house or in the yard – not sure as we were in the street.  There was a lot of chanting and then the monks and family walked out.  We got to give her our envelopes as she came by and greeted us.  She seemed so touched that I came and I thought she might cry as I handed her my envelope.  Then they passed out food for the people that came to the funeral.  I felt very calm and grounded during the funeral service even though it was extremely boring.  I’m very glad I said yes to this and got to experience this part of Thai life, especially for a lady I think is wonderful and kind.

On the way home, Noi asked who would take care of me when I got old.  In Thailand, it is the responsibility of the oldest child to take care of their parents once the child is an adult.  She has told me on several occasions that she thought our government takes care of us when we are old.  I think she’s starting to get it that our government doesn’t provide much for us – she thought the government took care of us when we were sick, out of work, old, etc.  So, if our government doesn’t help and I don’t have children, who will take care of me?  I said no one.  That wasn’t a good enough answer for her.  So, I told her I would move back to Thailand and live with her.  This was the correct answer.  She told me if I moved back to Thailand, I would not have to worry about anything.  I would be taken care of.  So, there, my retirement plan is secure.  Check.

(c) All rights reserved Kimberly Fiore