The first week back in Colorado was mostly spent moving stuff around.  Organize this pile of stuff and find a place for it.  Organize that pile of stuff and put it in storage.  Go through mail and make new piles of mail to organize later.  Find stuff in storage and bring it back to the house to organize.  Wash clothes, organize clothes.  Discover I need stuff to put stuff in.  Buy containers to put stuff in.  Discover that in all that stuff, there are no coats.  I own more jackets and coats than one human should own and I couldn’t find any coats in storage.  Target for the win – I bought a nice dressy coat for $40 and a puffy coat for $50.  I spent a week alternating between getting new stuff, wondering why I have so much stuff, not having enough stuff, wanting new stuff, and not wanting stuff.  I’m living in a friend’s house and they already have a house full of stuff so there isn’t enough room for my stuff.  Stuff stuff stuff stuff.

Finding stuff in my storage unit involves

1. moving 5-15 boxes which are falling apart because the tape stopped working;
2. the motion sensor lights go off when you are perched unsafely on top of a box on a book shelf in the middle of a bunch of boxes;
3. finding almost what you wanted and a lot of stuff you didn’t
4. being cold; and
5. generally feeling defeated.

So, what have a learned about stuff?  I just spent a year living with very little stuff. The whole year I knew it was temporary.  I lived temporary for a year.  Now that I’m back in familiar territory I’m nesting.  Part of me wants to gather stuff, nest, not be temporary.  There’s comfort in stuff.  For most of us, part of our identity is wrapped up in our stuff.  We are attached to stuff.  It becomes part of who we are.  Get rid of the stuff and we are lost or who we think we are is lost.  We are unhappy without our stuff.  Part of me craves to hide behind stuff.  But there’s freedom in temporary and who I really am is not my stuff.  More stuff does not equal happiness.  Part of me wants to ditch all the stuff and be free from identifying with it.

(c) All rights reserved Kimberly Fiore