I got up early to go get blood tests. I barely slept. I tossed and turned all night. The “No one likes me” crap in my head is here. The past couple of days when I’m sitting outside having my juice, no one chooses to sit with me. They pull chairs and tables together and sit somewhere else. When I do pull up a chair and sit with the group, I get talked over, interrupted or ignored. Not sure why this still bothers me or how to stop it once it starts bothering me. I’m not even sure I want to talk sometimes – the constant sharing of stories is exhausting and most of the time it isn’t real connecting. But still, society tells me this is the way we are supposed to connect and I’m doing it wrong. I’ve worked on it so much, but it still shows up. I know that I’m the source of the problem and that half of it I’m just making up in my head. I want to go home. I want to withdraw. It’s coming up for a reason and now that I’m no longer water fasting, my nervous system is ready to work on these type of issues. So, I’ll work on it some more – bring it on – that’s part of why I’m here.
The blood test place opened up late and it took over an hour and a half to get blood drawn. They had the air conditioning on arctic so my fingers were blue and I was shivering when it was my turn. The lady drawing blood had to try three times to get a vein. Did my veins get smaller on the fast or was my blood turning to slushie? When I got back I had my morning juice in my room with the heat on.
I swear my skin smells like celery. I washed my underarms 3 times today and I still smell like celery. It’s better than BO, but just so weird. My eczema is gone and the skin on my face actually looks pretty good and healthy. I gained some weight although I’m still two belt sizes down.
I worked a little, read a little, napped a little, netflixed a little and drank my juices. Not the most exciting day. The last juice of the day didn’t go down too well. I went up stairs to lay down and just felt flu-ish. My stomach is gurgling a lot too. No pretty pictures today – just my poor beat up arm from the blood draw and a new hole on my belt.
(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore