Breathing Trees

On By rrainefioreIn Beautiful Things, Uncategorized5 Comments

I decided to go snowboarding this morning.  I got to the mountain before the lifts opened.  I wanted to be there early to get some decent time on the mountain before heading back home to work.  Being early, it was also very cold.  But the sky was blue and there was fresh snow on the ground.  I got on the lift and braced myself for the cold ride.  The ground sparkled like someone had thrown out millions of tiny diamonds.  I held on tight to the lift as I felt myself drawn toward the sparkles unable to take my eyes off the ground.  I noticed that I wasn’t cold even though the temperature had to be close to 0 degrees.  The air just felt crisp and clear and you felt you could see forever.  Then when the sun hit the air just right, I noticed that the air wasn’t clear at all.  The air between the trees was sparkling.  There was no wind.  The sparkles were not falling or blowing.  The sparkles were just hanging in mid air.  Tiny ice crystals suspended in air as if the trees were slowly exhaling and you could see their breath.  There was nothing else in the world but me, quiet stillness, and these magical trees sending out sparkles.  I imagined that even though I could not see sparkles above the trees where I was, that they were still there covering me as I moved through them.  This lasted for the rest of the lift ride and the next and then was gone.

Sorry, the sparkles were magic and cannot be captured in a photo.  You will have to close your eyes to see them.

 

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Beautiful Things

On By rrainefioreIn Beautiful Things, Uncategorized3 Comments

I’ve been wondering what I should write about next for my blog.  My Thailand adventures seemed like a logical thing to write about.  The daily accounting of what it was like to do a fast seemed like an interesting thing to share.  But now what?  Do you want to hear about the day to day joys of being an engineer?  Probably not.  Do you want to hear about what it’s like to buy a house in the ridiculous Colorado economy and then the mundane “I unpacked another 4 boxes today and painted a wall”.  Not really.

Right now, our country is in turmoil.  The news is painful to watch.  There is so much drama everywhere.  I’ve decided to write about the beautiful things I encounter each week (maybe more often, maybe less).  I want to experience more beautiful things.  I want to enjoy life more.  I want to have better connection.  Maybe you do too.  Maybe by sharing the beautiful things, it will strengthen their memory and bring more my way.  Maybe by reading about them, it will bring a little light into your day and help you look for them in your life. 20181209_163005_Burst01

 

Success

On By rrainefioreIn Water FastLeave a comment

I had my bloodwork for A1C done again this week – 3 months after the fast.  It was normal – no diabetes – no pre-diabetes!

My allergies are not gone, but better.

I won’t know about the fibroids until next year when I hopefully have health insurance that will pay for imaging.  But, I have had less problems every month so I think something changed.

The fast definately did a reset on the autonomic nervous system.  I feel more relaxed, less on alert all the time and just more balanced.  This has been the most noticeable change and one I’m not sure could have happen any other way.

Food Changes

On By rrainefioreIn Uncategorized, Water FastLeave a comment

A couple of nights after leaving the retreat center, I ordered the steak tacos I had been craving.  They were delicious.  They also kept me up all night as my body refused to digest them.  I only got a few hours of sleep and spent most of the rest of day miserable.  I have had steak a couple times since, including steak at a real nice restaurant where I knew the meat was good.  None of the other times I had steak were as bad as those tacos, but the red meat still made me feel horrible afterward.  So, I may very well be done with cow for good.  This is funny as I’m the girl that use to have steak 2 or 3 times a week in my 20s and 30s.

I decided not to give up dairy, especially cheese, but to only  have it once a week.  I thought having cheese day once a week would work.  There is a place near where I live that only has mac and cheese on the menu – 40 +/- different mac and cheese recipes.  So, my first week back I decided to get some mac and cheese  for lunch for cheese day.  This was one of the most interesting food experiments I’ve had.  I decided to eat half the mac and cheese and see how it went.  I ate all of the mac and cheese – I couldn’t stop.  Then an exhaustion hit me so hard I barely made it from my desk, through the living room to the bedroom before passing out.  In the minute it took me to get to the bedroom, I went from feeling pretty good to being completely depressed.  I slept for 4 hours and woke up feeling sad and groggy.  I’ve heard of the grain brain concept, but never read the book.  Now I don’t need to.  This is what pasta does.  I’ve had this happen another time with pizza and a milder version a few times with bread.  I also ate a pancake that ruined a whole Sunday.  I haven’t had an issue with just cheese.  So, I’m done with pasta, scared of pizza, and if I want to have bread, it better be real good bread in small amounts.

My first attempt at coffee, it tasted horrible.  Unfortunately, I gave it another try.  I should have just left it alone.  Now I’m addicted to it again, but I usually only have one a day.

Now I’m mostly vegetarian with meat only when it sounds good – once a week or so.  The sugar cravings still come and go, but after the pancake, it’s been easy to walk away from any sugar that crosses my path.  I still eat fruit so that’s some consolation.  I feel pretty good.

Water Water Water

On By rrainefioreIn Uncategorized, Water Fast1 Comment

I leave to go home tomorrow.  I’m going to spend the day with my friend Bonnie in Sedona before heading out.  I’m very excited to spend some time with her.  Overall, I am so ready to go home.  I’m ready to stop having conversations about cancer, healthcare and healing.  However, I’ve made some friends and am sad to say goodbye.

I have had so much energy the last couple days.  I feel good.  I’m happy.  I feel healthy.  It’s been easy to get up in the morning.  I want to do everything.  Before I came here, I was doing a lot of work to regulate my autonomic nervous system and to work on ptsd.  I wondered what fasting might do for the nervous system.  I had never read anything on that.  I’m thinking this is big.  I’m thinking there was a reset and a balancing of the nervous system.

My dreams haven’t been as intense.  I’m very hungry and feel like I can’t quite get enough food.  I’m not sure if that is just because I’m refueling or if it’s a bit of food addiction.  I really want to start snacking.  I miss popcorn.  I miss cheese.  I want tacos.  I’m still sniffly so my allergies aren’t gone, but they may be better.  I will re-test in a few months to see if diabetes is still not a problem – I feel very confident that will be the last I see of it.  It might be a couple of months before we have a better idea what happened to the fibroids too.  So, I’ll post about that when I know.

Yesterday we did some driving up Oak Creek Canyon and stopping at interesting spots on the way.  Today we decided to go back up and go to Slide Rock park since we didn’t have enough time yesterday.  It was a fun three days of playing in the water!

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

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Sedona

On By rrainefioreIn Uncategorized, Water Fast3 Comments

A couple days ago, I felt like I was getting a cold so the doctors mixed up an herbal tincture for me.  I feel a lot better.  I’m now on full meals here.  I probably could have gone home by now, but I extended my stay thinking I could do 18 days of fasting.  I didn’t fast that long, but now I’ve already paid to stay longer so I’m just taking it easy and hoping the good food continues to help me heal.

I’ve been having a little trouble with digestion, but not too much.  The bowels get a little irritated.  But, overall, I think it’s going well.  My appetite is definately back.  I feel like I could eat more often than the meals allow.  I’m very hungry and ready to eat when it’s meal time.  My eczema is back.  So, is my face soap or lotion doing it or is it something I’m eating?  The soap and lotion is what was recommended by a dermatologist, but I’m thinking that is the culprit.  I tried deodorant one day and had body odor by the end of the day.  I decided to go without for a few days and have had no body odor since.  Interesting…….

I’ve been working a few hours a day, resting, and reading.  I’ve been able to get out and do some very easy hikes also.  So, this blog is less about fasting and more about pretty pictures:

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

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Nothing Exciting to Report (Days 6 and 7 Refeeding)

On By rrainefioreIn Uncategorized, Water Fast1 Comment

Little by little, food is getting added back in to my system.  I seem to be tolerating it all well.  Yesterday they added potatoes and today I could have grains.  It was nice to have oatmeal for breakfast instead of a salad.  I think tomorrow I can start having salad dressing.  The salad dressings are made from scratch here so I’m not sure why that is the last thing to be added back in.

I went to the movies last night which was fun except the popcorn smelled so good and I’m sure that’s not a good idea.  So I tried to just enjoy the smell.  I did the labyrinth this morning.  I felt a little tired when I was done, but it wasn’t too much.  I might try some easy hikes after the holiday weekend.

Overall I’m feeling pretty good.  I’m quite bored and ready to go home, but since I extended my stay and it’s not refundable, I might as well stay and eat clean food for another week.  I’ve been working about 4 hours a day which helps with the boredom and the finances.  I spend the rest of the time reading, coloring or just sitting outside enjoying the nice weather.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

First Bath (Days 4 and 5 Re-feeding)

On By rrainefioreIn Uncategorized, Water FastLeave a comment

The past two nights I’ve still had trouble sleeping, but still wake up feeling ok.  Maybe I don’t need as much sleep as I think?  My blood tests came back pretty good.  A few things were low, but the doctor said she would expect that since I’m coming off the fast.

Yesterday I had salad for each meal – basically lettuce and fruit.  Not the most exciting meals, but my body tolerated them well.  I had a very gurgly stomach, but no issues other than that.  Today was the same food except they added steamed broccoli at lunch and steamed spinach at dinner.   Hunger is coming back.  I’m hungry before each meal.

I’m still feeling quite left out.  It feels kind of like high school all over again.  The cool kids are hanging together and I’m eating alone.  It bothered me less, but it’s still odd.  I cried for a half hour today just feeling so alone. That seemed to clear some of it.  This is so stupid.  It makes me want to go home though.  I think I’m getting a little stir crazy here.  Plus I now probably have the energy to start letting this stuff come up and work it’s way through.  I actually expected the whole fast to be more emotional than it has been.  I’m surprised.

Today I couldn’t concentrate so I decided to walk the 3 blocks to Walgreens just to be somewhere different and see how walking that far would feel.  It was sooooooo far.  I did ok, but was quite exhausted by the time I got back.  They had the singing bowls again yesterday.  I really do enjoy those.  Today was yoga – It was still very simple yoga, but it felt good to move a little.

The most exciting thing though is I got to take a bath in a bath tub with soap and shampoo.  No more wash cloth baths for me.  It was glorious.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

 

Celery Skin (Refeeding Day 3)

On By rrainefioreIn Awakening, Uncategorized, Water Fast2 Comments

I got up early to go get blood tests.  I barely slept.  I tossed and turned all night.  The “No one likes me” crap in my head is here.  The past couple of days when I’m sitting outside having my juice, no one chooses to sit with me.  They pull chairs and tables together and sit somewhere else.  When I do pull up a chair and sit with the group, I get talked over, interrupted or ignored.  Not sure why this still bothers me or how to stop it once it starts bothering me.  I’m not even sure I want to talk sometimes – the constant sharing of stories is exhausting and most of the time it isn’t real connecting.  But still, society tells me this is the way we are supposed to connect and I’m doing it wrong.  I’ve worked on it so much, but it still shows up.  I know that I’m the source of the problem and that half of it I’m just making up in my head.  I want to go home.  I want to withdraw.  It’s coming up for a reason and now that I’m no longer water fasting, my nervous system is ready to work on these type of issues.  So, I’ll work on it some more – bring it on – that’s part of why I’m here.

The blood test place opened up late and it took over an hour and a half to get blood drawn.  They had the air conditioning on arctic so my fingers were blue and I was shivering when it was my turn.  The lady drawing blood had to try three times to get a vein.  Did my veins get smaller on the fast or was my blood turning to slushie?  When I got back I had my morning juice in my room with the heat on.

I swear my skin smells like celery.  I washed my underarms 3 times today and I still smell like celery.  It’s better than BO, but just so weird.  My eczema is gone and the skin on my face actually looks pretty good and healthy.  I gained some weight although I’m still two belt sizes down.

I worked a little, read a little, napped a little, netflixed a little and drank my juices.  Not the most exciting day.  The last juice of the day didn’t go down too well.  I went up stairs to lay down and just felt flu-ish.  My stomach is gurgling a lot too.  No pretty pictures today – just my poor beat up arm from the blood draw and a new hole on my belt.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore

 

Tacos (Refeeding Day 2)

On By rrainefioreIn Uncategorized, Water FastLeave a comment

I felt much better this morning even though I didn’t sleep well.  I have quite a bit more energy, surprisingly more for only having had 8 cups of juice yesterday.  I didn’t get nauseous after each juice today.  No headache.  Hallelujah.

I colored for a bit.  I read for a bit.  A few people went out to shop.  I was able to go with them although I only went in two stores.  I spent more time just sitting in the shade people watching.  It is amazing how unfit and unhealthy most people look.  So many are limping because their hips are locked down.  So many are waddling or shuffling because they are carrying around too much weight or have a bad back.  So many people eating sweets and sodas and other crap.  It was a fashion show of unhealthy.  Of course, I’m the frail looking bag of bones moving slower than an 80 year old so I kind of fit right in.

The field trip might have been too much for me.  It was exhausting, but it was nice to have a change of scenery.  There was one restaurant that was grilling up meat for what I imagined to be very delicious tacos.  I contemplated going in there and ordering 17 tacos, but I think my friends would have either tackled me or joined me in the mad rush tearing the place apart for meat.  Either way it would have been a whole scene.  Plus one taco would probably send me to the hospital when my colon got to it and said hell no.  I don’t think you are supposed to go from 4 juices straight to 17 steak tacos.

I just rested the rest of the afternoon.  I will probably do one more day of juice and then start on raw veggies (no tacos).  I have to get up early tomorrow for blood work so I think I’ll look for a movie to watch and try to go to be early.

(c) All Rights Reserved Kimberly Fiore